Black and Blue
by Aofie
Summary: Both Robin and Killian are dead, and Emma has to face the fact that she once again has failed Regina by destroying her happily ever after. Only she just can't seem to move right now and seems to have lost all faith in both herself and her abilities as the saviour. Slow burn Swan Queen set after 5x21 - only Hook never makes it back from the Underworld.
1. Draw Another Line

**A/N – So this is my first OUAT fanfiction attempt so please be kind! I confess I always thought I was a Captain Swan shipper but then as I delved into this world of fanfiction I found myself far more interested by the Swan Queen stories. As a result I wanted to write my own and I wanted to explore Regina and Emma's love for each other in a way that didn't diminish their love for Robin and Hook.**

 **So this story begins the day of Robin's funeral and is canon up until that point. The only difference is that Killian was never returned to Emma and it is assumed that he moved on and found a better place. It will be a slow burn Swan Queen story full of angst, some magic and intrigue and a lot of love.**

 **Please let me know what you think and if I should continue this story or stick to Harry Potter fan fic… (for those who follow my Harry fics please note that I am NOT going to abandon The Only Way Out Is Through again I promise, I will be continuing to update that as often as possible.)**

Chapter one – Draw another line

Emma stepped out of the shower, letting the steam rise off her body in waves before wrapping herself in a towel. She faced the mirror but couldn't bring herself to look up into it just yet; instead she just took a deep breath and tightened her grip on the white ceramic basin she was leaning on for support.

When she did look up she almost laughed because of course the mirror was all steamed up and her reflection was nothing but a foggy blurred image. She sighed and swiped her hand across the mirror forcing herself to look at her reflection… She didn't like what she saw. She looked old and tired and just more than a little ill, dark shadows underneath her eyes and sunken cheeks. Her blonde hair wet and plastered to her cheeks, unkempt and almost dirty looking.

She turned her back on her reflection and wandered into her bedroom, quickly towelling herself off and dressing in the first thing she could find, jeans and a white sweater picked up from her bedroom floor. She then slumped to the floor against her bed and just sat there. She couldn't believe he was gone. Honestly what was the point of trying anymore? And now she had ruined not just her own happiness and Killian's life through her own selfishness but she had ruined Regina's too, and Robin's.

She hadn't gone to Granny's after Robin's funeral.

In truth she just hadn't known what to say to Regina, she didn't know how she could face her or the rest of the town. She was supposed to be the saviour, she was supposed to bring the happy endings and all she had brought was pain and death to all that she loved. And Killian…. Killian who was strong and kind and full of life and love was gone. He'd survived more than 200 years before meeting her and his love for her had destroyed him in what felt like mere months. And Regina and Robin had been caught in the crossfire. Why did everything she touch turn to shit?

When Emma thought of Regina at the funeral, her strength holding her up and holding her together as she tried to be there for Roland, for Zelena, for Henry (and even Emma herself) she found she couldn't breathe for the sorrow and guilt that built up inside her and she dropped to the floor further and sobbed until there were no more tears left in her and there was no more feeling.

She wasn't sure how long she lay there. It could have been minutes or even hours. She knew she had to get up and move but she really didn't think she had the strength. Her mind just kept going to back to the image of Regina at the funeral and how she clutched to Zelena's arm and refused to let people see the pain in her eyes and in her whole body. Emma knew she had failed her completely and that this time there would be no forgiveness for her. She had not only lost the love of her life but her best friend, in truth her only friend.

Eventually she told herself in a stern voice that this was her fault, that the situation was of her own making and she could either sit here and continue to cry or she could get up and draw another line for herself in the sand of life's experience and vow never again to let the people she loved fall victim to the dangers of her own selfishness and ego. She managed to pull herself back into a sitting position and told herself that this was it, that was all the wallowing she could get and that now she had to be strong. She had to make some hard choices.

She didn't want to be the saviour anymore. Not that she ever had in the first place, and while right now she wanted nothing more than to run away she knew she couldn't do that to Henry if he still wanted her, and she couldn't do that to her parents.

So instead she just sat where she was slumped over leaning against the foot of her bed and decided that until she had a better idea maybe she would just stay there. Where she couldn't do anymore damage. She wrapped both her arms around her legs and squeezed her eyes shut.

…

Regina wasn't at all focussed on the conversation Snow was trying to have with her. She barely registered when David pushed a plate of food into her hands and Snow insisted that they were both there for her if she wanted to talk or if there was anything they could do. Regina didn't even properly hear Zelena's snippy comment in return, something about being sisters and having all they needed in each other and they didn't need anything from two people who always got their hearts desires.

No Regina was focussed solely on the door to Granny's diner, and every time it opened with a jingle of that stupid bell hope rose in her stomach for a moment that it would be Emma walking in. But it never was.

Regina had only glimpsed her at the funeral, her long blonde hair standing out like a shining beacon of light against the black of her clothes and the dreariness of the grey background. She had wanted so desperately to find her and stand near her and let her know that she was there and that she understood what Emma was going through. After all Emma was the only one who knew how Regina felt. Sure Zelena said she knew, said she understood and Regina was ever thankful for the bond she had formed with her sister but Zelena wasn't Emma. Zelena's love hadn't been real, no matter what she thought. Hades was insane (as was Zelena if truth be told), and love borne from insanity wasn't real. Regina should know since she herself had once been completely insane.

No in this moment Regina just wanted Emma. She too had lost the love of her life, and even if she hadn't she always understood Regina she sure as hell did now. She wanted Emma's warmth, her light, her comfort. She wanted the fucking saviour.

Who was nowhere to be found apparently.

Regina began to feel restless and impatient. 'Where's Emma?' She interrupted Snow's latest ramble.

Snow's perfect eyebrows rose delicately. 'I don't think she's coming Regina.' She said softly.

Regina felt herself sag inside. 'Why not?' She demanded. 'It's not like she has anything better to be doing.'

'She blames herself.' Snow said. 'I tried to tell her that this wasn't her fault but I don't think she even heard me.'

'It is her fault.' Regina said abruptly. And surprisingly she meant it in that moment. It WAS Emma's fault, in so far as she had led them to the underworld in search of her pathetic pirate and in return brought back Hades who… who… Regina couldn't finish that thought.

'Regina that's not true, you know it isn't.' Snow said gently.

'It is true.' Zelena interrupted. 'None of this would have happened if Emma – '

Regina glared at Zelena with such a fury that she was surprised Zelena didn't actually melt on the spot like the wicked witch she was.

'I'm just agreeing with you…' Zelena murmured.

Regina ignored her but couldn't help the anger she felt at anyone but her blaming Emma for what had happened. She turned back to Snow instead. 'It IS true Snow and you're a fool if you try and convince Emma otherwise. However if Emma is responsible then so am I.'

'Regina. The only person responsible is Hades.' Snow said.

'If only the world was as black and white as you actually see it Snow.' Regina stated flatly. 'That kind of argument is not going to work on Emma.'

'Well I do know that Emma is hurting and she needs our kindness and support. She just lost the love of her life.' Snow said.

'So did I.' Regina snapped. 'She should be here anyway.' She stood quickly, smoothing non-existent wrinkles out of her skirt. 'I have to go, where's Henry?'

'Regina…' Snow touched her arm gently. 'Are you sure you should be alone right now?'

For some reason this only made Regina angrier. 'I can see right through you Snow so please save your breath. I'm not going to go and kill anyone in a fit of rage and I'm not going to hunt Emma down and make her pay for Robin's death and I'm not going to cast anymore curses .I just want to go home.'

With that she pushed past Snow and made her way towards where Henry was sitting with Violet.

Henry looked up at her and for a moment all she could see was the Emma in him.

'You wanna go home?' He asked quietly.

'Yes Henry I do.' She said softly. 'Do you want to come with me or would you prefer to stay the night with Emma?' She tried hard to keep the pain out of her voice as she spoke. She wanted him to make his own decision but she really needed her son. If Emma had abandoned her she needed Henry not to, and she didn't want to be alone despite what she had said to Snow.

'Where is Emma?' Henry asked, looking around for her.

'I don't know.' Regina said. 'She clearly didn't want to come and pay her respects.'

Henry looked at Regina and frowned. 'You know that's not true Mom.'

'Then where is she?'

'She blames herself.' Henry said. 'She probably can't face you.'

'I doubt that Henry.' She said with conviction. 'So what do you want to do?'

Henry jumped out of his seat and waved goodbye to Violet. 'I wanna come home with you.' He said quickly, linking his arm with Regina. 'You're my first Mom and you need me tonight. I can tell.' He said with a smile.

Regina didn't bother correcting Henry by stating that in fact Emma was his first mom as she was the one to give birth to him. In truth it warmed her heart to hear Henry call her that and she certainly needed some heart-warming tonight, especially since she had apparently been abandoned by her best friend.

Her only friend…

Instead Regina pulled Henry into a quick hug and the two of them headed home, talking about ice cream and what movie they were going to watch when they got home, and for a second Regina felt like she might be able to pull herself back once again from this awful feeling of loss and grief if only Emma could wake up to herself and be there too.

…

When Emma finally opened her eyes again there was bright sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. Sometime during the night she must have fallen asleep as she was scrunched up on the hard wood of her bedroom floor, her head pooled on her arm which was protesting painfully.

She sighed and rolled over on her back letting her eyes wander to the sunlit window. It was a beautiful day outside, as if the rain had washed away all of the darkness from the day before. Emma wished that the rain had also washed away her grief; better yet that it had returned Killian and Robin to Storybrooke. What was the point of all this sunlight anyway when there was nobody to share it with?

At this point Emma knew she was on dangerous ground, she couldn't give into this feeling or she really would never get up of this floor and she never would pull her shit together enough to be a good mother to Henry or a good daughter, sister, friend. She knew Killian would be so angry at her for behaving like this, she made him promise to move on and find a better place and she needed to do the same. She just didn't want to, not just yet. Just a few more minutes that's all, she would just lie here a few more minutes and then she would get up and go and find Henry, and try to face Regina.

Just thinking of Regina made her heart hurt as the weight of all her broken promises crushed down on her and she covered her face with both arms and began to cry.

She didn't even hear the furious knocking on her front door.

…

Regina was thankful that Henry had stayed with her last night, not just for the fact that he was a beautiful distraction from the grief that was crushing her but also because it had seemed like years since they had woken up in the same house and done something as normal as cooking breakfast together. As she moved around the kitchen she found her mind drifting towards Emma as she last saw her at Robin's funeral, rain pouring down soaking her through, and the lost heartbroken look on her face. She fervently hoped that wherever Emma was she wasn't alone.

Last night her and Henry had eaten ice cream and watched movies all night before eventually falling asleep on the couch together. They had so far avoided the subject of Robin and Killian's deaths but Regina knew that wouldn't last. Sure enough it was while Henry was scrambling eggs and Regina was cooking bacon that he turned to her with a sorrowful look in his eyes.

'I failed you didn't I mom?' He asked pitifully his voice cracking slightly.

'Henry what are you talking about?' Regina said quickly as she stopped cooking the bacon and came to his side. 'How can you have failed me?'

'Operation Mongoose.' Henry said softly. 'I was supposed to find the author to give you a happy ending, and then I thought I had and I thought Robin was the happy ending for you and then I broke the quill and I ruined everything.'

'Henry you can't blame yourself for this.' Regina stated firmly, running her hands through his hair even though he was way too old for that now. 'Operation Mongoose was a success. Robin and I were together and happy. But happiness isn't a destination dear; life doesn't let you stay there forever. Sometimes happiness is only fleeting.'

'I just wanted you to find your happy ending.' Henry said sadly.

'I know you did honey but maybe Robin wasn't it. Yes he was my soulmate and the love of my life but he wasn't my first love and I'm sure he won't be the last. Maybe he was just a wonderful chapter in my story and not my happy ending. Maybe I'll get another one?' Regina could hear the false note in her tone as she fully believed that Robin was it for her. She wasn't going to get another chance.

'Nice try mom, but I know you don't believe that.' Henry said softly.

'Well maybe if I keep telling myself that I might believe it eventually.' She said, wiping her own tears away.

'I'll believe it for you.' Henry said firmly.

Regina just smiled sadly at him, amazed that nothing seemed to be able to break her son's spirit.

'I miss them.' Henry said simply. 'Robin and Hook. I miss them.'

'Me too.' Regina said softly and pulled Henry into a hug.

'Do you think Emma is okay?' Henry asked against her shoulder before pulling away.

'Probably not dear.' She said sadly. 'Maybe you should call her and see about spending today with her. I'm sure she needs you right now.'

Henry nodded. 'Maybe you can come too?' He asked hopefully. 'I don't want you to be alone.'

Regina smiled softly. She wanted more than anything to see Emma as well, her heart reached out to the other woman for comfort despite still being angry at her for not being there last night. If she had been there when and where she should have been then Regina had no doubt that it would be the three of them sitting here about to have breakfast together and she wouldn't have this sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that the world would never be right again.

'Call her.' She said to Henry, and felt her heart start to thump a little more loudly.

Henry pulled out his phone and dialled Emma's number. 'She's not answering.' He said with a frown after a few moments. 'She always answers.'

'Try again later. She might just be in the shower.' Regina reassured him, although she wasn't sure if she was reassuring Henry or herself.

When Emma didn't answer the next time Henry called or the time after Regina started to feel worried. 'Call your grandmother.' She said. 'Maybe she's with them.'

As she was speaking her own phone lit up with Snow's name. Regina answered, feeling her stomach tighten further.

'Is Emma with you?' She snapped into the phone, not even bothering to say hello.

'No we were just calling to see if she was with you?' Snow asked a note of distress in her voice.

'No she isn't. Henry has been trying to reach her all morning but she won't pick up the phone.' Regina said. 'Has anyone seen her?'

'No not since the funeral.' Snow said. 'Also we went to her house this morning and she didn't answer and we tried to get in but there's some kind of magical barrier surrounding it. We couldn't even get to the front door. We called out to her but it was as if the house was empty.'

'Jesus Christ what has that idiot saviour done now.' Regina sighed. Trust Emma to be as dramatic as possible and make everything about her.

'She's hurting Regina.' Snow said, allowing a touch of judgement into her tone. 'I don't know what to do to help her.'

 _Of course you don't because you don't really know her._ Regina thought to herself, but instead of voicing that as she once would have, she said instead 'I'll check on her. '

'You will?' Snow asked.

'Of course I will.' Regina snapped. 'We can't have the saviour going off the deep end again now can we?'

'Thank you Regina.'

Regina hung up without answering and turned to face Henry. 'I want you to head over to your grandparents place okay?'

'If Emma's in trouble I want to be there with you.' Henry said stubbornly. 'I can help her.'

'I know you can but I need you to be safe right now. Can you understand that?' Regina asked. 'You're all I have left.'

'Emma would never hurt me.' Henry said stubbornly. 'She's my mom.'

'I know, but she's hurting right now and she still isn't as in control of her magic as she could be. I'd prefer it if you would wait with your grandparents until I know what's wrong.' Regina didn't say it out loud but she had a horrible feeling that Emma had reached the end of her rope and simply couldn't take any more pain. A magical barrier erected around her house was deeply concerning.

'Are you angry with her?' Henry asked suddenly.

Regina didn't want to lie. 'Yes honey I am, but probably not for the reason you think.'

'Just don't hurt her okay? It really wasn't her fault this happened.' Henry said stubbornly.

Regina closed her eyes and sighed. No matter how hard she tried she would never get away from her actions as the Evil Queen. It was hideously ironic that now it appeared as though she was coping with the loss of her soulmate far better than Emma was with the loss of her pirate. Still it was the assumption that Regina might hurt Emma and not the other way around that would always be foremost in Henry's mind.

She supposed she deserved it after all she had done, especially considering that deep down she knew she was barely keeping it together. Especially with Emma losing her shit like this when she was the one person Regina knew believed in her. Without Emma to ground her she had no idea what she would become in the future.

'I'm not going to hurt her Henry. I promise. Now do as you're told and go to your grandparents. I'm done discussing this.' Regina said firmly. If Emma was spiralling downwards there really wasn't any time to waste.

Thankfully Henry finally relented and went to Snow and Charming's loft and Regina soon found herself on the edge of Emma's property.

Snow was right, there was a magical barrier around the house but it felt off to Regina, like it wasn't supposed to be there. And for some reason Regina seemed to be exempt from it as she easily crossed the threshold and headed for the front door. She didn't dwell on what that meant. Most likely her magic was just stronger than Emma's.

She took a deep breath and knocked on Emma's front door.

…

Emma still hadn't moved from the foot of her bed.

She'd tried, but she couldn't seem to stay sitting up for more than a few minutes, and she couldn't really stop crying either. She had no idea that there were so many tears inside her and wondered briefly if she was on her way to dehydration given the rate they seemed to be falling out.

She knew she had to get up and go on with things, and she knew she couldn't run from this like she had so many other times in her life. She _knew_ she had to find Regina and apologise yet again for ruining her happiness but she just couldn't seem to make herself move from her spot on the floor. She was completely falling apart.

That is until Regina appeared in front of her in a cloud of purple smoke.

Emma sat up so quickly that she became dizzy. 'Regina?' she mumbled. 'What are you doing here?'

Regina's first instinct had been to yell at Emma and let her anger speak for itself, especially considering that Emma appeared to be fine (If fine meant that she looked a mess with hair tangled and blotchy eyes and looking like her life was over). But something in Emma's expression of pain and bewilderment stopped her. 'Emma? Are you alright?' She asked softly as if speaking to a small child or a wounded animal.

Emma wiped a hand across her face wearily. 'Uh huh.' She said in a dead voice. 'I just uh can't seem to get moving.'

Regina sighed and sat down next to her. 'Didn't you hear me knocking?'

Emma shook her head.

'Or Henry's phone calls? Or your parents?' Regina pressed.

'No I didn't hear anything.' Emma said slowly, still shaking her head. 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry anyone.'

'Well you did.' Regina snapped, unable to help herself. 'Emma are you aware that there's a magical barrier around your house right now?'

'There is?' She asked.

'Yes no one can get past your front gate. Your idiotic parents tried all morning before they called me.' Regina said.

'Then how did you get in?' Emma asked.

'I just did. It didn't seem to affect me.' Regina stated.

'Oh. I guess that makes sense.' Emma said softly, wiping another tear from her cheek.

Regina wanted so very much to wipe it away for her but instead she remained still. 'Why does that make sense exactly?' She asked.

Emma didn't answer.

'Emma this isn't you.' Regina said after a moment. 'You have to get up. This isn't healthy.'

Emma nodded. 'I know. I just can't right now.'

'Why can't you?' Regina asked, finding herself frustrated with this strange weak Emma who was so broken.

'Because I don't know how to get up from this.' Emma said with a sob that hitched itself up her chest and out in an ugly hiccup. 'It was my fault you know it was. Even if no one else will admit it, it was my fault and now Killian is gone and so is Robin and I destroyed everyone's happiness this time. Especially yours, again. I can't be the saviour anymore Regina. I don't know how to fix this!' She cried.

Regina didn't really know what to say given that she had just last night stated that it was Emma's fault. She took a breath and just told her the truth.

'Emma you can't fix it.' She said firmly. 'You know you can't. But that doesn't mean you can't move on from it. Get up and draw a line through this story because it's done. We both lost, we lost big time and you know what? We'll probably lose again. But you can't just give up because you don't want to be the saviour anymore. It doesn't work that way. We need you. Henry needs you.'

'Henry needs you.' Emma said petulantly. 'He doesn't need me anymore.'

'I need you.' Regina said quietly. 'I need you Emma. I looked for you yesterday and you weren't there. You're the only one who knows, _really_ knows how I'm feeling and what I lost and you weren't there. How could you leave me alone like that?' She said harshly.

'I couldn't face you.' Emma said. 'I didn't think you would forgive me this time.'

'Emma you've never been a coward or a fool before don't start now.' Regina said.

Emma nodded. 'I'm sorry I wasn't there.'

'I'm sorry I wasn't here.' Regina said. 'Clearly you needed me just as much as I needed you. You're a mess.'

'We have to start again now don't we?' Emma asked in a very small voice.

'Yes we do.' Regina agreed. 'But we can do it together this time. We'll find a way forward, both of us. As long as you get up off this floor and try.' She said firmly, taking Emma's hand and lacing their fingers together.

Emma laughed through her tears and Regina gave an internal sigh of relief.

'Oh Regina I miss him.' She said sadly, allowing fresh tears to fall over her cheeks, as she rested her head against Regina's shoulder.

'I know sweetheart, me too.' She said softly, knowing that they both knew they were talking about different people.

Emma nodded again and then as more tears fell Regina wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close and they both cried together.


	2. It's Only A Bruise

**A/N – I forgot to put a disclaimer on the first chapter of this story but obviously I don't own any of these characters etc… I just want to explore and understand this relationship from my own point of view!**

Chapter 2 – It's Only A Bruise

Regina gazed out the kitchen window. She wasn't looking at anything in particular just day dreaming mostly while she waited for Henry to come home from school. It had been a month since Robin's funeral, since she had cried with Emma in her arms. Since then they had both attempted to move on and put the past behind them and slowly the whole town was recovering, returning to a state that could only be described as calm for the first time since Emma had broken Regina's original curse.

Emma had at first seemed convinced that the fragile peace that reined over Storybrooke since their return wasn't going to last. While Regina privately agreed with her she didn't tell Emma that, instead (mostly for Henry's sake) she kept insisting that they had earned a rest and that it was about time things returned to normal.

The problem was that normal was boring, and boring meant they had more time to think.

Regina and Emma had settled into a kind of shared custody over Henry. He had insisted that he didn't need any formal kind of arrangement as he was old enough to make his own choices; this was a decision that Emma fully supported and that had made Regina terrified. But in the last month they had settled into a sort of routine nonetheless.

Henry generally spent one week at a time with each of his mothers, but during that week he would visit the other several times after school, and always insisted on family dinners (as he called them) with all three of them. Sometimes this was extended to include Snow and David, and sometimes not. Most often not if the dinner was at Regina's. While her and Snow had somewhat patched things up between them and put the past behind them, Regina still just didn't feel comfortable in her presence. And she could tell that Snow felt the same.

They all put on an excellent show for Henry though and for the first time Regina felt that her son might actually be happy. Too bad neither of his mothers were.

Emma had certainly improved in the last month but Regina couldn't help feel that she was just going through the motions. Not that Regina was doing any better herself, but she liked to think that she hid it better than Emma did. Sometimes she looked at Emma from across the table at dinner and she could see how hard Emma was trying to pay attention and listen to whatever was being said but yet was so far away from them all. And while she managing to fool Henry to a certain extent as well as her parents, she sure wasn't fooling Regina.

Emma was hurting.

Regina could relate. She supposed the difference was that she had more experience with loss than Emma had, or perhaps as her heart had so much darkness in it, it made it easier to cope with. Either way Regina could see plainly how much Emma was struggling.

The sound of the door slamming shook Regina from her thoughts. 'Really Henry?' She said sharply as she headed to the front hall to greet him. 'Is it possible to make more noise when you enter?'

'Probably.' Emma replied, smiling slightly at Regina as she took off her gun belt and dropped it with a clatter on the table by the front door. Emma had resumed her duties as Sherriff with David as her deputy shortly after they returned from the Underworld. As Emma put it, she needed something to do and that was as good as anything. Despite the lack of magical crisis in Storybrooke there were still daily issues that needed to be sorted.

'Regina rose one delicate eyebrow at Emma. 'Please refrain from slamming my front door in future Miss Swan.'

'Yes Madam Mayor.' Emma shot back.

'Where's Henry?' Regina asked. It was his week with her and she had been expecting him home for some time now.

'He called me from Violet's.' Emma said with a smirk. 'He demanded I come over for dinner tonight. He said he was going to call and ask you?'

'Well he didn't,' Regina said, feeling somewhat irritated although she didn't really know why. She enjoyed seeing Emma and her favourite nights were the ones with the three of them (something that still caused her to blink in disbelief). 'I don't appreciate always being the last one to know everything, especially when it's my week with Henry.' She said, folding her arms and glaring at Emma.

'Regina.' Emma said softly reaching out to touch her arm. 'You know Henry didn't mean anything by it. He probably just got distracted at Violet's and forgot to call you.'

For some reason Emma's soft tone just made Regina feel worse. She stepped back out of Emma's reach with a frown on her face.

Emma frowned back. 'Do you want me to go?' She asked uncertainly. 'I don't mind, it is your week with him.'

For a moment Regina thought about saying yes, she should go. It would punish both Emma and Henry for forgetting about her once again. But then Regina looked at Emma and shook her head.

'You look awful.' She said with a frown. 'You need to sleep.'

Emma ran her hands over her face. 'I can't sleep.' She said with a grimace.

'You need to try. For Henry's sake at least.' Regina said. 'He's worried about you.'

 _I'm worried about you_ she thought. Emma had lost weight in the last month; her skin was pale and stretched too tightly across her face, her hair limply pulled into a pony tail that lacked its usual annoying bounce and she had dark circles under her eyes. She really did look terrible.

'Not all of us can remain beautiful at all times.' She said flatly. 'Give me a break.'

'I didn't say you aren't beautiful.' Regina said without thinking. 'I said you look awful. There's a difference.'

Emma looked up into her eyes and for a moment Regina lost her train of thought staring into those deep blue green eyes. She felt oddly awkward. What had made her say that? Not that it wasn't true, Emma was as achingly and irritatingly beautiful as the night she had first shown up in Storybrooke.

'I wish I was more like you.' Emma said after a moment, and then looked away.

 _Oh Emma, no you don't_ Regina thought.

'Do you want me to go?' Emma asked again.

'No stay. I know Henry wants you to.' Regina said quickly, her earlier irritation gone. She took a deep breath. 'I want you to too.'

'Thanks.'

'Are you having nightmares Emma?' Regina asked tentatively. 'Is that why you can't sleep?'

'Yeah. You?' Emma replied looking away again and pulling a stray piece of hair from her eyes.

'Yes.' Regina said softly.

The front door opened and then slammed shut, Henry appearing on the other side. 'Hi Mom's'. He said with a grin.

'Apparently slamming doors is a genetic trait.' Regina said with a frown.

'Huh?' Henry asked.

'Never mind.' Regina said quickly. 'Did you forget to call and ask me something?' She said raising her eyebrows at him.

'Oh yeah sorry. Mom Emma's coming over dinner is that okay?' He asked hopefully. 'Better late than never right?'

'I suppose.' Regina said grudgingly.

'Thanks Mom.' He said and dropped his bag by the front door moved to give her a quick hug. 'How was your day?' He asked before moving to Emma to hug her as well.

'Fine.' Regina said quickly.

'Mom?' Henry asked looking at Emma.

'Also fine kid.' Emma said smiling slightly.

Thankfully the kid hadn't inherited Emma's super power. There was no way Emma was fine, and while Henry didn't notice Regina sure did.

'Why are we all just standing in the hallway?' Henry asked. 'It's weird. What's for dinner?' He asked, then dropped his bag on the floor of the front hall and headed towards the kitchen.

Emma's eyes met Regina's in an amused look before she followed after Henry. 'I had only just arrived when you showed up, and your mom met me in the hallway. How was your day?' She asked as she pulled herself into a stool at the kitchen counter next to him.

'Yeah it was pretty good.' Henry said.

'And how is Violet?' Emma asked gently nudging Henry.

Henry turned red. 'She um, she's good. So what's for dinner?' He asked again quickly as Regina entered the kitchen.

'Yeah Regina what's for dinner?' Emma echoed with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

 _It doesn't really matter as you won't eat it._ Regina thought to herself. Emma really did look half-starved these days and clearly hadn't eaten a full meal in weeks. 'What would you like?' She asked.

'A burger and fries.' Emma said quickly.

'I was asking Henry.' Regina said with a scowl. 'If you want food like that you can go to Granny's. I refuse to serve you that here.'

Henry looked over at Emma thoughtfully and Regina couldn't help but think Emma wasn't fooling him as well as she thought she was.

'I want a burger too. Can we go to Granny's?' He asked hopefully.

Regina considered it. Maybe it wasn't the worst idea if it would get Emma to actually eat something. Besides she really couldn't say no to Henry these days not when he had already been through so much, most of which was her fault.

'Fine.' She said, throwing her hands up. 'Get your coats both of you. I give up trying to keep you from the ravages of obesity and heart disease.'

'That's a little over dramatic don't you think?' Emma stated. 'I don't think we're quite at that stage yet.' She pretended to pout as she jumped quickly off her stool and headed back to the front door.

'Thanks Mom!' Henry exclaimed also jumping off his stool.

Regina sighed as she headed to the front door after them, grabbing her purse and keys along the way.

'My shout.' Emma said.

'My week means my shout.' Regina countered. Emma might actually finish her meal if someone else was paying for it.

'Suit yourself.' Emma said and held the front door open. 'After you.'

Regina smiled slightly as she followed them down the front path, watching Emma and Henry two steps ahead with their arms linked, and heads together one dark and one shining blonde.

Not that long ago this was all she had wanted, dinner out with her family (actually having a family) and Henry happy and growing up. No magical monster to defeat.

Now it just didn't seem enough. She wanted her happy ending, Emma had promised her that. Emma had made her believe it. Now she couldn't even keep her own belief alive and she could barely take care of herself. Where was her saviour now?

Maybe her saviour needed saving, and more than anything Regina wanted Emma to get her happy ending too.

…

Emma started awake suddenly sitting up in her bed, pulled from another nightmare. She ran her hands through her hair pulling it back from her sweat soaked brow and tried desperately to slow her breathing.

'Henry Regina Mary Margaret David Neal Killian. Henry Regina Mary Margaret David Neal Killian, Henry Regina Mary Margaret David Neal Killian.' She repeated on and on until her breathing slowed and she remembered where she was.

This was a coping mechanism she had started after her first nightmare, in the week they had returned home from the Underworld. She had been trying to pull herself out of a very dark nightmare and the only thing that had helped was saying Henry's name out loud. She then chose to add the names of the rest of her family, focussing on them all in turn to remind her of what she still had to fight for. She hadn't intended on adding Killian's name, as she knew she had to accept that he was gone, but that first time it had just slipped out of her mouth and now he was part of it.

'Henry Regina Mary Margaret David Neal Killian.' She said one more time, now fully awake.

The dream had been a particularly bad one, and Emma fought hard to shake herself from it.

She didn't want to go back to sleep again so instead she pulled her sweat drenched covers back and got out of bed. She grabbed a sweater off the chair by her bed and pulled it on as she padded barefoot into the kitchen. The clock said it was 2:00am which meant she'd managed to stay asleep for approximately an hour. These days that was fairly good.

Emma switched her coffee machine on already determined that she wasn't going to go back to bed that night, or if she did that it wouldn't be for several hours.

As she made her coffee she forced herself to think about something other than her dream. She pushed the dark thoughts and images away from her mind and focussed on Henry. Her mind drifted to their dinner that night at Granny's and how he had gone red with embarrassment when she or Regina had teased him about Violet.

'Is she actually your girlfriend now?' Emma had started off, as she took a sip of her beer casually.

'No! I mean maybe.' Henry sighed and covered his face. 'I haven't asked her yet.'

'You have to ask her?' Regina said. 'I thought it was obvious. You've kissed her haven't you?'

'Mooooom!' Henry whined. 'I can't talk about this with you.'

'It's not assumed even if they have kissed.' Emma commented completely ignoring Henry's discomfort. 'It means they haven't had the talk yet. Have you?' She asked him.

'You're killing me. You are both completely killing me.' Henry complained, but Emma could tell by his tone that he actually loved it despite his embarrassment.

'The talk? What pray tell is the talk?' Regina asked with a slight frown.

'It's the "do you like me or like like me because I like like you" talk' Emma said with a smirk. 'That then leads into the "will you be my girlfriend" discussion.'

Henry dropped his head to the table with a groan.

'That sounds ridiculously complicated.' Regina said with a frown.

'Why do you think it hasn't happened yet?' Henry mumbled.

'It's a delicate process.' Emma said solemnly.

'Please please please can we talk about something else? Anything else?' Henry begged, lifting his head off the table and looking at them imploringly.

Emma just looked at Regina with a smile and raised her eyebrows. Regina smiled in return her eyes locked on Emma in amusement.

'Okay kid.' Emma said. 'We'll let you off the hook for now.'

'Thank you!' Henry said. 'Yes food's here!' He exclaimed excitedly as Granny placed their order in front of them.

Emma looked down at her burger and fries and felt her stomach tighten. She really didn't feel like eating but she also realised she couldn't keep avoiding food if she wanted to remain as strong as she was used to being. She also had no desire to purchase an entirely new wardrobe in a size zero, which wasn't even a size as far as she was concerned.

She looked up from her plate to Henry who was wolfing down his burger at an alarming rate. She gave him a half-hearted smile as she picked her own burger up and took a bite. 'Don't eat too fast kid, you'll make yourself sick.' She said around her mouthful of burger.

'Really Miss Swan must you speak with your mouth full?' Regina huffed, as she stabbed her salad with a fork.

Emma shrugged. 'As long as you can understand what I'm saying does it really matter?' She couldn't help but feel irritated at Regina's judgement.

'I suppose not.' Regina allowed grudgingly.

Emma raised her eyes in surprise as Regina usually didn't give in that easily. She pondered this thought as she took a couple of fries off her plate and forced them into her mouth chewing them slowly while sneaking a glance at Regina out of the corner of her eye.

Regina was looking at her with a frown. 'My shout tonight remember.' She said slowly.

 _What the hell is that about?_ Emma thought to herself, but chose not to comment, instead just nodding her head and taking another small bite of her burger. She wouldn't usually force feed herself like this but she knew it was good for her even if it didn't feel like it, also it would be rude to not eat a meal someone else was paying for.

In the end she ate just over half her burger and a small handful of fries, which was an accomplishment, compared to what little else she had eaten that day.

After dinner they had returned to Regina's place and watched a DVD together, although Emma honestly couldn't even remember what it was. Her mind spaced out so easily these days, sometimes it was hard to concentrate on anything except how empty she felt.

When Henry announced that he was heading to bed Emma got up and hugged him goodnight before heading to the front door to collect her coat and gun.

'You're heading off too then?' Regina asked casually, appearing in the front hall.

'Yeah.' Emma said hesitantly. 'I hope it's okay that I stayed after dinner, I just didn't really feel like being alone tonight.'

'You're welcome here anytime Emma, you know that.' Regina said.

 _My how far we've come_ Emma thought, before giving Regina a sad smile and turning for the door.

'Emma?' Regina asked.

'Yeah?' She turned back to face her, and found that Regina had moved to stand right next to her.

She leaned in and pulled Emma close in a tight hug. 'You're going to be okay.' She whispered firmly in her ear. 'We both are.'

Emma let herself sink into the hug for a second before pulling back and looking Regina in the eye. She then nodded wordlessly and Regina released her. Then without another word she stepped through the door into the cold night.

She wondered if Regina had meant those words for her or for Regina herself.

She supposed now that it didn't really matter.

Emma shook herself out of her thoughts and took a large sip of her coffee. She had given up trying to understand Regina and the reasons behind her actions. All she really wanted was for her best friend to be okay and to find her happy ending, though when she thought about it, it struck her as completely bizarre that Regina had become her best friend in the first place. A best friend she had betrayed.

She suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of loss wash over her and all she wanted was to be anywhere but there in her empty house that was way too large for just her.

Emma stood quickly from her kitchen table and headed to the front door, pulling on a hoodie as she went. She then grabbed the keys to her bug and stepped outside into the night.

This had started to become a habit, on the nights where she felt the most loss and despair she simply drove away from her house and instead prowled the streets of Storybrooke. Sometimes she told herself it was to watch over the town, sometimes she admitted that she just didn't know what else to do. She had lost her purpose, and it seemed as though the town didn't really need a saviour anymore anyway much less a distracted Sheriff.

Emma couldn't wrap her mind around why she was struggling so much. It was only grief. Hadn't she been through this before with Neil? Hadn't others been through worse? Mary Margaret and David had both lost their parents and countless others they had loved over the years. Regina had lost both her parents and her first true love and then her soul mate. Her loss was only a bruise in comparison to that. Why was it that Regina seemed to be surviving but Emma was crushed? Why did she feel so alone? Why was her grief and guilt consuming her in a way she couldn't deal with? Was she really that weak?

After driving aimlessly for an hour or so, her coffee long finished, she found herself back at Regina's house. She parked her bug across the street and just sat drawn up in the driver's seat, her chin resting on her knees as she gazed at the house. She pondered on what Regina had said to her that evening, her confirmation that she too was having nightmares. Emma knew it was a foolish notion but since she couldn't get rid of her own nightmares maybe she could keep Regina's at bay by watching over her and Henry.

Her heart clenched as she pictured Regina waking up from a nightmare and not having anyone to comfort her now Robin was dead. She squeezed her eyes shut to rid herself of the images but couldn't help the tears that started to fall.

'I'm so sorry Regina.' She whispered into the darkness, tears streaming down her face. 'I'll do better next time I promise. You'll get you're happy ending.'

 **A/N – Please please please review! I know this is a depressing start to the story but it will get better and lighter once our two ladies start to heal and grow even closer to each other**.


	3. Wish On A Star For A Higher Truth

Regina woke up slowly, stretching her limbs and sighing. As usual she rolled over to the other side of her bed and buried her face in Robin's pillow. A feeling of panic and heartbreak rose up from deep within her and she let out a desperate wail.

'No no no . Please no. Please no.' She cried out, picking up the pillow and pressing it to her face. 'No not yet I can't not yet' she cried, as the tears started to fall fast and hard, soaking the pillow she was clutching so tightly. 'I'm not ready.' She sobbed into it. 'I can't be.'

Eventually she had cried herself out into a state of numbness and she finally withdrew the pillow from her face and vanished it with a wave of her hand.

…

'Emma?' Henry called.

Emma rolled over and buried her head underneath her pillow. Maybe if she ignored him he'd go away. She had managed perhaps an hour's sleep the night before and was severely lacking in energy.

'Em-ma.' He called again from behind her door. 'I know you're in there. I'm giving you to the count of three to reply or I'm coming in.'

Emma sighed.

Henry didn't even bother counting, instead just pushed the door open and came on in. Despite being fully clothed (including his coat and shoes) he pulled back her covers and jumped into bed next to her. 'How are you doing today?' he asked quietly.

'You didn't count.' Emma said, withdrawing her head from her pillow and looking at him.

'I didn't see the point. I was coming in anyway.' Henry smiled. 'How you doing?'

Emma sighed again. 'I'm okay Kid. Just had a rough night.'

Henry nodded. 'I know. I heard you crying.'

'Shit.' Emma swore. 'Henry I'm sorry. I don't want you to have to hear that.'

'Don't be sorry. You're human, you're allowed to cry.'

'I'm not much of a saviour right now am I?' Emma said softly. 'I can't even get out of bed.'

'You don't have to be the saviour right now. Let other people do the saving for a change. I miss him too you know.' Henry said.

'I know.'

'You gotta get up. I have to get to school and we don't have any food in the house so we have to get breakfast from Granny's on the way.' Henry said poking her in the side.

'We don't have any food at all?' Emma asked in surprise.

'Not really. When was the last time you went to the store?' Henry frowned.

'Ummmm, I don't remember.'

'Exactly.' Henry said. 'Promise me you'll go today?'

'Okay.' Emma agreed listlessly.

'I'm back at Mom's house tonight so I'm trusting you on this yeah?'

'Yes, fine kid I'll go to the store I promise!'

'Okay I believe you. Now get up. You've got five minutes.'

Emma sighed. 'Fine get out of my room and I'll meet you downstairs.'

Henry leaned forward and kissed her softly on the cheek. 'I love you.' He said before he jumped out of her bed and left her to get ready.

Emma smiled. 'I love you too kid.' She whispered before dragging herself out of bed and heading to the shower.

Granny's was typically busy first thing in the morning, filled with those who like Emma and Henry wanted a quick bite to eat and those who were just after their usual morning dose of caffeine.

They were seated at one of the booths about to start on their breakfast when Snow and David walked in together, Snow pushing Neil in his stroller.

'Henry! Emma!' David called before heading over to them. 'You got room for us?' he asked.

Snow waved at them from the counter where she waiting to order their food, then quickly joined them. She pulled Neil from his stroller and deposited him in Emma's arms.

'Hey buddy.' Emma whispered pulling Neil close and nuzzling his cheek with her nose.

'Move down Henry.' David directed.

Henry shuffled down to the end of the booth, pushing his plate along with him, before continuing to shovel eggs into his mouth in record time.

'Henry, take it easy.' Emma cautioned. 'People are gonna think I'm not feeding you.'

Henry glanced at her meaningfully.

Emma chose not to say anything in response, instead turning back to her mother. 'I can't believe how big he's getting.' She said with a small smile, her eyes back on Neil. 'I swear he's grown again in the last week!'

'I know, I feel like he grows an inch each day sometimes.' Snow said. 'Here let me take him from you so you can finish your breakfast.'

Emma handed Neil back to her mom and then turned back to her breakfast.

'You're still not sleeping well are you?' Snow asked her softly as she watched her push her eggs around her plate aimlessly.

'Do I look that bad?'

'You look tired kiddo that's all.' David said reaching out and stroking her hair. 'We're just worried about you.'

'I'm fine I promise.' Emma said. 'Henry you gotta get to school. You're gonna be late the rate you're going. And so are we!' She said poking her father.

'Good thing I have an understanding boss.' David grinned.

Henry looked at his watch. 'Yup I'm definitely heading towards tardiness. I better go.' He stuffed his last piece of toast into his mouth and stood up, David edging out of the booth so he could get past.

Emma stood too.

'Ma I can walk myself to school. I'm not a kid anymore.' Henry protested.

'At least let me walk you out since you're back with Regina again tonight. Who knows when I'll see you next?' Emma replied.

'Probably tomorrow if not tonight anyway Ma. You know that.' Henry said with a sigh.

'Indulge me.' Emma said.

'Fine.' Henry sighed.

'Emma will you stay while longer?' Snow asked. 'It'd be nice to spend a bit of time with you. I miss you now we aren't all living under the same roof.'

'Yeah okay I'll be right back.' Emma said softly, before heading to the door after Henry.

When she caught up with him he was already outside and Emma could see he was talking to Regina.

'Emma.' Regina said nodding without looking at her.

'Good morning Regina.'

'Is it?' Regina asked lifting her eyes to Emma's.

Emma was shocked to see her expression, cold and harsh and just a tiny bit desperate.

'I'll see you after school dear.' Regina said to Henry and headed into the diner leaving Emma looking after her in concern.

'Bye kid.' She said with a frown, pulling Henry in for a hug. 'I'll see you when I see you.' She added.

'Bye Ma.' Henry said, with a wave and headed down the street towards his school.

Emma looked sadly after him for a few moments. She missed him already.

Once back inside Granny's Emma noticed Regina was sitting at the counter alone and headed towards her. 'Hey.' She said, softly touching her arm to get her attention. 'You okay?'

'Henry left for school?' Regina asked casually.

'Yeah just now.' Emma confirmed. 'You okay?' She asked again.

'Of course I'm okay Miss Swan.' Regina snapped. 'Why wouldn't I be?'

 _Because you look like shit._ Emma thought. _And you haven't called me Miss Swan in that tone in a very long time._

'I'm just worried about you Regina.' Emma said gently. 'You don't seem yourself today is all.'

'You should worry less about me and more about yourself. You look terrible. Even worse than yesterday and that's saying something.'

Emma knew that Regina was trying to get a rise out of her but her comment still stung. She didn't know why Regina's good opinion of her mattered so much but it did. 'You should look in a mirror Regina cause you don't look so hot today yourself.' She snapped without thinking then hopped up from her stool and headed back towards her parents.

She looked back at Regina for a moment and caught her looking after her. Her eyes were puffy like she'd been crying and her hair and make-up were far from Regina's usual standard. Emma frowned at her again before sitting back down with her family.

…

Emma had promised Henry she'd buy groceries so at lunchtime she headed out the door after telling David he had to man the fort till she returned. Thankfully it was a slow day and the two of them had spent most of the morning playing cards anyway.

She was in the frozen section contemplating the nutritional value of the frozen lasagnes when her cell phone rang. She dug it out of her pocket and answered it on the fourth ring.

'What took you so long?' Regina snapped.

'What's wrong?' Emma asked quickly.

'The school rang. Henry didn't show up today.' Regina said quickly.

Emma's blood ran cold. 'What do you mean he didn't show up?'

'Just what I said. He DID NOT SHOW UP!' Regina yelled. 'Why didn't you walk him to school this morning? How irresponsible can you get Emma?'

'Have you called him?' Emma asked calmly refusing to panic or rise to Regina's bait.

'Of course I called him! He didn't answer.' She snapped.

'Are you at home?' Emma asked, allowing a small sliver of fear to get through.

'Yes.'

'I'm on my way.' Emma said quickly, then hung up the phone and ran out of the store leaving the basket of groceries behind.

Less than five minutes later she had arrived at Regina's house, to find her waiting impatiently for her on the front porch.

'Have you heard from him?' Emma asked.

Regina shook her head, her expression like a storm cloud about to break.

'Let's go inside.' Emma said taking her by the elbow. We'll call him again and then if he doesn't answer we'll start looking.'

Emma pulled Regina into the kitchen as she took out her cell phone and called Henry. She had already tried twice on the way to Regina's but Henry hadn't picked up either time.

This time on the tenth ring he finally answered.

'Ma?' He said breathlessly. 'You okay?'

'Henry!' Emma said in relief, and Regina quickly pulled the phone from her hand.

'Henry where are you? Are you okay?' Regina asked quickly, putting the phone on speaker so Emma could hear it too.

'Mom?' Henry said in confusion. 'I'm fine. Why are you both so worried?'

'Where are you?' Regina growled.

'Uh I'm at school, obviously.' Henry said after a pause.

Emma's built in lie detector was practically off the charts and she shook her head a Regina with a frown.

'Henry give it up. We know you're not at school because they rang to tell us.' Regina said in an ice cold tone. 'You have precisely five minutes to get home or you're going to be in even worse trouble than you already are.'

'It might take longer than five minutes Mom.' Henry said cautiously.

'You have five minutes and not a second more young man. I suggest you run.' Regina snapped. Then she hung up the phone and wordlessly handed it back to Emma.

In actual fact it took Henry seven minutes to get home during which time neither woman said a word.

Emma was frankly too afraid of getting her head bitten off if she tried to make conversation, and Regina was too angry to form words. Emma snuck a glance at her and was somewhat awed and equally terrified by the sheer power she exuded.

When Henry did arrive he was out of breath and wearing a sheepish expression.

'Explain yourself.' Regina said in a soft and dangerous tone.

Henry looked at Emma.

'Don't look at me kid. You're on your own, though I have to say I think honesty is gonna be the only way to go at this point.' Emma said folding her arms across her chest and raising her eyebrows at him.

Henry sighed and took a deep breath. 'We cut school. Me and Violet, we were hanging out at her place.'

'You planned this?' Regina snapped.

Henry nodded miserably. 'We didn't think anyone would find out.'

Regina's thinly stretched composure broke. 'Do you have any idea how worried we were?' She shouted. 'After everything your mother and I have been though recently did you even stop to think how this would make us feel?'

'I didn't know the school would call you.' He said lowering his eyes.

'Of course they called us you idiotic selfish child. Why wouldn't they Henry? You've been kidnapped and placed in danger more times than either of us can count. Of COURSE the school called us. But you were too selfish and too stupid to consider the consequences weren't you? Not to mention that cutting school is a foolish delinquent behaviour which I will NOT have from my son!' Regina bellowed, her face practically turning purple.

Henry frowned and his own cheeks turned red. 'Mom I'm really sorry I worried you and all and yes I really didn't think things through but don't you think you're over reacting? It's just a day of school. Who cares if I didn't go?'

'I care Henry!' Regina shouted. 'As a member of this family you have responsibilities and a certain standard of behaviour that you are expected to meet at ALL times!' Small purple sparks started to radiate off Regina.

Emma stepped forward cautiously. 'Regina calm down.' She said softly. 'You're losing control.'

Regina glared at her but managed to gain enough control to stop the sparks from flying. 'You're grounded until further notice and you won't be seeing Violet again. I don't want her irresponsible nature rubbing off on you any more than it already has!' She said tightly.

'What?! Mom that's completely unfair!' Henry shouted. 'You're totally over reacting! Besides I've missed more school in the last few years than I've attended. You both pulled me out to go to the Underworld for fuck's sake! What's more unsafe than that? Who cares if I missed ONE day?!'

Regina stepped forward quickly with a look on her face so dangerous that Henry immediately took a step back. 'Don't EVER swear at me again.' She said tightly. 'Or it will be the last thing you do.'

Henry wisely stayed silent.

'Go to your room.' Regina snapped. 'You're grounding starts now. You are not to leave this house until I say so. You will go to school, you will come home, you will do your homework and you will go to bed. That's it until further notice.'

'What if I choose to go to Emma's' Henry asked sullenly.

Regina took another step forward but Emma held her back gently.

'It won't matter kid.' She said, keeping her arm on Regina's. 'I'm standing by your Mom on this one. You screwed up. You're totally grounded whether you're here or at my place.'

'Go to your room now.' Regina said again.

Henry looked to Emma again who slowly shook her head. 'Give me your cell phone too kid.'

'Ugh I hate both of you!' Henry cried in frustration and stormed upstairs after slapping his phone into Emma's hand.

Emma let her breath out slowly. 'Looks like we have a full blown teenager on our hands.' She said with a small laugh. 'When did that happen exactly?'

Regina rounded on her quickly. 'This is entirely your fault!' She snapped. 'How irresponsible can you be?'

Emma held her hands up in defence and backed up a step. 'My fault?' She questioned. 'I didn't do anything, why you angry with me?'

'That's exactly my point! You should have walked him to school, you should be more disciplined! That year he spent with you did him so much damage. Now he's learned all of your hooligan ways and he has no respect for me at all. You let him get away with everything, you're a terrible influence!' Regina cried. 'Well no more. He's not going to stay with you again until you've both learned a lesson from this. I'll spell him into his room if necessary.' Purple sparks were starting to fly again.

Emma had never seen Regina in a rage quite like this one. Even when she had first come to Storybrooke she had never seen Regina lose it like this. The woman was usually the definition of control. Now she was barely holding herself together and completely irrational.

Emma pushed her own anger and irritation to the side for a moment and considered Regina, who was still red in the face with purple sparks flying. During her time in the foster system she had seen a fair few temper tantrums and had thrown more than a few herself so she knew they were rarely about what they seemed to be on the surface.

She unfolded her arms and left them hanging by her side. 'Regina this isn't you.' She said softly. 'What's this really about?'

There was silence.

Emma tried again. 'I know it's not really about Henry skipping school. You've been barely keeping yourself together all day. What happened?'

Suddenly Regina collapsed to the floor in a heap and burst into tears. Huge great sops wracked from her body until she was barely able to breath.

Emma dropped to her knees in front of her and pulled her close. 'Shhhhh.' She said softly, putting both her arms around her and letting Regina cry on her shoulder. 'It's okay. I'm here. What happened? You can tell me.' She murmured.

Regina pulled back and looked Emma in the eye, her dark eyes full of heartbreak. 'I can't smell him anymore.' She whispered.

'You can't what?' Emma asked again slightly confused. 'Robin?'

Regina nodded miserably, fresh tears running down her cheeks. 'His pillow.' She sobbed. 'Every morning I would wake up and roll over to his pillow and his smell was still there and it was like I had a part of him. This morning when I smelled it, it had gone. He's really gone Emma! I wasn't ready and now he's gone and I can't even remember what he smelled like!' she cried in anguish.

Emma felt her own heart break and she pulled Regina close again. She knew that there was nothing she could say to help or to bring back that last part of her friends lost love. All she could do was hold her close and offer her comfort until she had cried herself out.

Eventually Regina stopped crying and went still in Emma's arms. She pulled back slowly and looked at her for a moment. 'You must think I'm so pathetic.' She sniffed.

Emma shook her head. "Of course I don't.' She said. 'You've been through hell.'

Regina sighed. 'We both have.'

'Why don't you head up to bed?' Emma said. 'You look exhausted. I can make you some tea?'

'Okay.' Regina agreed. It was a sign of how fragile she felt that she didn't even crack a joke at Emma's ability to make tea.

Emma helped Regina up and guided her gently to the stairs. 'Come on.' She said gently, not letting go of her hand.

Regina let herself be taken upstairs to her bedroom. 'I don't want to sleep Emma it's the middle of the afternoon.' She said tiredly.

'You're exhausted. You need this.' Emma said.

'You're no better off than I am.' Regina stated flatly. 'You haven't slept properly in weeks.'

'We're not talking about me right now.' Emma said firmly, pulling back the covers. 'Get into bed; I'll go make you some tea.' As she moved to let go of Regina's hand Regina grasped for her fingers slightly as if she didn't want to let her go. 'It's okay, I promise I'll be right back.' She said.

Regina nodded slightly her eyes wide.

Emma frowned slightly as she headed downstairs.

By the time she returned with the tea Regina was in bed, dressed in a pair of white silk pyjamas.

'Here you go.' Emma said.

'Thanks.'

Emma looked at Regina, who was curled up on one side of the bed, her head resting on a lone pillow the other nowhere to be seen. 'What happened to the pillow?' She asked gently.

'I vanished it.' Regina said with a sigh as a lone tear trickled down her cheek. 'I had no more use for it.'

'Okay.' Emma said, unsure of how to respond. 'You get some rest now okay? I'll talk to Henry.'

'Emma?' Regina asked rolling over to look at her.

'Yeah?'

'Will you stay?'

'Stay?' Emma asked, confused.

'Stay tonight? I don't want to be alone.' Regina whispered.

'Yeah sure.' Emma said refraining from mentioning that Henry was there too. 'Whatever you need.'

'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' Emma backed out of the room and quietly closed the door behind her, before heading down the corridor to Henry's room.

'Kid we need to talk' she said, tapping on his door twice.

'Go away.' Henry said from behind the door, his voice wavering.

Emma ignored him and opened the door.

Henry was lying face down on his bed his head buried in his pillow. Emma strongly suspected that he'd been crying but she didn't want to draw attention to it. Instead she just sat down next to him and ran her fingers through his hair like he was still the ten year old boy who had come to fetch her from Boston. 'You know you messed up today right?' She asked gently.

'She treats me like a child.' Henry said angrily.

'Well today you kinda behaved like a child.' Emma stated. 'Surely you can understand how worried we were?'

Henry rolled over and looked at her. 'Yeah I do. I know that you've both been through hell this year, literally, but I have too and I just wanted a break and to have some fun for a change.'

'I get that but you can't skip school to do it.' Emma said gently. 'Especially without anyone knowing where you are.'

'Why can't you just trust me? I mean I went to the Underworld! I'm the Author!' He exclaimed. 'I can't be alone for five minutes without the whole world knowing where I am?'

'It's not about trusting you. It's about the fact that you are the single most important thing in the world to us both. And for Regina you are her only family. She can't let anything happen to you.'

'You're her family too.' Henry replied crossly. 'And you always take her side now.'

Emma smiled a truly genuine smile, perhaps the first one in weeks and a warm sensation spread throughout her body with Henry's words. 'You're right Kid I am her family. Which is why I had her back, also you were wrong.'

Henry sighed. 'Why are you so cool and she's not. She almost used magic on me. I could see it.' He shook his head. 'I never thought she'd do that.'

'I don't think she meant to. I'm not even sure she realised what was happening.' Emma said softly.

'I hate her.'

Emma shook her head. 'No you don't. Don't be an idiot, you know she's done far worse than this in the past. This is nothing. And you DID do the wrong thing today, you know you did.'

Henry just shrugged.

'You need to apologise.' Emma stated firmly.

'Are you kidding me? She's the one who needs to apologise.'

'Henry she needs you right now. Didn't you notice how she was earlier today?'

'What do you mean?' Henry asked with a frown.

Emma wasn't sure how Regina would feel about Henry knowing what had happened that morning but she didn't really care; Henry needed to know how much his mom was hurting. So she told him that Regina could no longer smell Robin in her bed anymore and that she hadn't been at all ready to let that last part of him go.

Henry couldn't help but let a few tears trickle down his cheek which he hastily dashed away. 'I thought she was doing okay.' He said slowly. 'She seemed to be okay.'

Emma sighed. 'That's the thing about grief Henry. We're doing fine until we aren't and we don't always have control over when that happens or how we deal with it.'

'I picked a bad day to mess up didn't I?'

Emma nodded. 'Unfortunately yes. '

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't tell me, tell your mom.' Emma said, giving him a nudge.

'Will she even want to talk to me?' Henry asked uncertainly.

'Of course she will.'

Henry nodded and got up.

Emma didn't want to pry so she waited where she was for a few moments before leaving Henry's room to go downstairs.

As she passed Regina's room she could see Henry had got into bed with her like he had with Emma that morning, and that he had both his arms around her. She could hear the low murmur of their voices and smiled sadly to herself as she continued down the stairs to the living room. They were both going to be fine, crisis over.

Emma let out a loud yawn as she deposited herself heavily on the couch. She was so tired it was ridiculous, and she thought perhaps she could just curl up on the couch and sleep for a few hours. She pulled her phone out and sent David a quick text letting him know she wouldn't be back in the office that day, thankful that he was so understanding.

She then lay down on the couch and pulled the blanket over her, closing her eyes with a sigh.

She too had thought Regina was doing better than this, and Emma realised she needed to work a bit harder, to be there more for her friend and for Henry. This outburst today had come as a shock; perhaps also because she couldn't remember what Killian smelled like either. Only that realisation didn't distress her in the same way as it did Regina and she wondered why that was.

As she drifted towards sleep Emma realised she could smell Regina's perfume on her from when she had held her earlier and she thought with a smile that she may not remember Killian's smell but she didn't think she could ever forget Regina's.

Pondering that thought for a moment she decided to let sleep claim her rather than worry overly about what that meant.

 **A/N – As usual please review and let me know what you think. Good or bad I don't mind, it's the only way to improve!**


	4. Everything Will Be Just Fine

'I'm really worried about Emma.' Snow announced one morning. They were just finishing breakfast and Snow was just bundling Neil up getting ready to take him to Belle's for the day.

David nodded. 'I agree. She's not getting any better, in fact she's worse.'

'This behaviour is so self-destructive and David I don't even know what to do or say, I can't seem to reach her.' Snow's said sadly.

'Well it's certainly not easy when she spends so much of her time avoiding us. I can barely even catch her for a moment at the station.' David said. 'She's always either on patrol or has her nose buried in paperwork.'

'I don't understand what we did wrong, why doesn't she want our help?' Snow frowned.

'I don't think it's a matter of her not wanting us, I think it's just easier for her to pretend as little as possible that she's okay. She's been working so hard to keep up this pretence that she doesn't have room for anything else. I know she's not fooling Henry for a second despite how hard she's trying. If we push her too far she could just go over the edge altogether. And she's trying so hard already.' David said.

Snow shook her head. 'I don't think I could cope with watching her try any harder. As heartless as this sounds she needs to break.'

'Something needs to change that's for sure. But I don't think we're the ones to do it.'

'Maybe Henry could?'

'He's just a kid, despite what he says, we can't put this on him. It's too much. Also Emma wouldn't forgive us.' David frowned.

'I hate to suggest this but…' Snow trailed off.

'I'm thinking the same thing. And she's more than proven herself this past year. I think she's the best person to get through to Emma. Besides they're ridiculously close now. And Regina is quite possibly the only one who has suffered as much as Emma has.' David said.

'Well she brought a lot of that on herself but yes I agree she's the right person for this.' Snow nodded. 'And she's practically family now.'

'Snow she's always been family.'

'You know what I mean David, now she actually feels like family.'

'Yes she does.' David said fondly. 'It's almost too crazy to believe.'

Snow put Neil in his stroller. 'I'm going to stop by Regina's office after I've dropped Neil off. I'll see what she thinks.'

David nodded and then kissed his wife and son. 'I'll try and catch Emma for lunch today. See If I can get her to eat something substantial for once.'

'Don't count on it.' Snow said flatly.

…

Regina was so completely zoned out she could barely even remember the document she had been trying to focus on less than five minutes ago.

She shook her head and tried to re-focus her thoughts but in truth all she could think about was Emma and Henry. It had been a month since the incident with the pillow (as Regina chose to think of it) and while Henry was very much still grounded he had been allowed his phone back and was dealing very well with his punishment. Mostly.

So far he had only complained twice, once to her and once when he was at Emma's. Emma had added a week onto his grounding for the complaining, a move that had made Regina raise her eyebrows, impressed. Personally she thought it was a little harsh as he really hadn't been all that bad (and she herself had behaved terribly that day too, not that she would ever admit it). However when she voiced this to Emma she had been told that Henry knew what happened when he complained over a punishment and that just because they lived here now rather than New York and just because he had two mothers again was no reason to let him get away with it. Rules were rules.

Apparently Henry had been quite the complainer previously and this was a standard part of grounding. It hurt Regina's heart to think of how very much she had missed in that year away from them. Also she had to grudgingly admit that perhaps Emma had been a responsible mature parent after all.

Shaking her head slightly she reengaged her thoughts into what she was supposed to be focussing on. That is until she was interrupted by a gentle knock on the door.

'Come in Snow.' Regina said. Only one person in town had a knock like that. She could almost feel the niceness creeping around the door.

'How did you know it was me?' Snow asked as she stepped through the door. 'You're assistant is out and I didn't call ahead.'

'You don't have to call ahead.' Regina said. 'You're free to show up anytime. And there's only one person with a knock that exudes optimism and that's yours. You practically carry an aura of goodness around with you, it's revolting.'

'I seriously doubt that Regina. Especially after all I've done recently.' Snow said stepping further into the room and taking a seat in front of Regina's desk. 'May I?' She asked as she sat.

'Well since you just did I don't suppose I can say no can I?' Regina said, her eyebrows raised. 'What can I do for you?'

'It's Emma.' Snow said bluntly. 'It can't have escaped your attention that she's gone from bad to worse. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, and she never smiles or laughs anymore. Quite frankly she's terrifying me more now than when she was the Dark One.'

'What do you expect me to do about it Snow?' Regina asked. 'I've tried. She's as stubborn as you are. I can't seem to get through to her.'

Snow just shrugged. 'I just thought you might be able to help since you and she are so close these days. And you're really the best person to help as you've been through the same thing. Can't you just tell her how you managed to get through it?'

'You assume I have got through it.' Regina said pointedly. She was somewhat irritated that no one seemed to notice she wasn't exactly dealing with her own loss well at all. No one but Emma that is.

'You seem to be doing better than she is that's all.' Snow said softly.

'Let's just say I have more practice.' Regina stated flatly. 'I'm working on it.'

Snow just nodded. 'I'm sorry Regina.'

Regina sighed. 'It's okay. I'm also worried about Emma. The last few weeks she's been trying so hard to act normal it's painful to watch. She forces food down her throat when Henry and I are around but I feel certain she doesn't eat a thing when she's on her own and she certainly isn't sleeping either. She's wasting away before our eyes. I don't know what to do.'

'She's on the edge. She can't keep this up for much longer. David and I are so worried about pushing her too hard, she needs our love so badly but she won't let us in. She won't let anyone in. We all just want to help her. Regina I love her so much and I'm losing her!' Snow said with a small sob.

And just like that Regina realised where they had all been going wrong with Emma. In particular where she had been going wrong. Snow was right. This was a job for her, especially as she knew Snow didn't have the heart to take this particular course.

'I have an idea.' She said to Snow. 'But it's not pleasant.'

'Not pleasant how? You're not going to hurt her are you?'

Regina gave Snow a withering stare. 'Of course not. I'm just going to talk to her.'

'I thought you said you couldn't get through to her?' Snow said in surprise. 'What's changed?'

'Do you want my help or not?' Regina snapped. 'I just thought of a way. But she isn't going to like it at all, and it just might break her.'

'David said she needs to break.'

'Charming was right for once.' Regina agreed. 'Leave it with me.'

Snow stood slowly. 'Thank you Regina.' She said as she headed to the door. 'I owe you one.'

 _You owe me a million._ Regina thought. But Emma didn't owe her anything, and this was for Emma.

…

Emma was drunk. Crazy drunk, completely and unbelievably blind drunk.

Oddly enough she couldn't seem to care much given that Henry was still at Regina's. There wasn't anyone else here that she had to put on a brave face for or be the responsible adult to. Nope she was perfectly in the clear to get as shitfaced as she wanted to, which is precisely what she'd done.

She knew she'd feel shame over this in the morning, as well as a horrifying hangover but she just needed to forget for one night how much she missed him.

She probably shouldn't have chosen rum as her drink of choice.

She found herself sitting on the kitchen floor finishing the bottle and not bothering to wipe the tears leaking from her eyes, instead letting them run like rivers down her face. For just this night she intended to stop trying to move on, to stop trying to keep others from seeing her pain, to stop lying to herself about how Robin's death wasn't her fault, and how Regina would surely eventually forgive her. She didn't deserve to be forgiven.

Her heart twisted when she thought of Regina and it confused her in a way she didn't like.

To counteract that she chose to take another swing of the bottle only to realise it was empty as of the last mouthful she'd taken.

Hoisting herself up off the floor with a groan she wobbled on unsteady feet towards the cupboard for another one.

It was then she heard the furiously knocking on her front door.

Emma considered answering for half a moment, then re considered as she didn't have the energy and she was too drunk at that moment to pretend she did.

Instead she wrenched open the cupboard and pulled the second bottle of rum out, opening it quickly and taking a swig.

She frowned at the direction of the front door where the knocking continued and turned towards the stairs, fully intending to hide under the covers of her bed until the annoying person decided to give up and go away.

Unfortunately the person on the other side of the door had no intention of giving up.

Regina grew tired of knocking and waved her hand, disappearing from Emma's front stoop and reappearing in her kitchen. She frowned as she saw the remnants of spilled rum on the counter and the empty bottle.

'EMMA!' She yelled furiously.

Emma appeared in the doorway to the kitchen still holding the bottle of rum by its neck.

'Regina?' She asked, confused. 'What you doing here?'

Regina just shook her head at her. 'Emma what are you doing?'

'Isn't it obvious?' Emma said, raising the bottle of rum in mock salute.

Regina rolled her eyes. 'How much have you had?' She asked quietly fuming.

'Some.' Emma frowned. 'I'm not sure.'

'Well I think you've had enough.' Regina waved her hand and vanished the bottle from Emma's grasp.

'Hey!' Emma protested. 'I was drinking that! You owe me a bottle of rum!'

'I don't owe you anything Miss Swan.' Regina said icily.

'Miss Swan?' Emma muttered. 'We're back to that are we?'

'Emma you have to stop this.'

'Stop what exactly? I'm an adult. Henry isn't here this evening and I have no one to look after or to worry about so why shouldn't I drink as much as I like? What do you care?' Emma rambled before sinking to the floor on her knees.

'You still have yourself to look after you fool, and you're doing a terrible job of it. Get up off the floor right now and stop being so pathetic!' Regina snapped, her frustration growing.

'Can't you leave me alone for one night?' Emma exclaimed angrily. 'All I'm asking is for one night! You're not supposed to be here you're supposed to be with Henry.' She paled for a moment 'Oh god tell me Henry isn't here too?'

'No he's at home studying thankfully, he doesn't need to see the unbelievable mess you currently are.'

Emma sighed angrily. 'Why are you here Regina? Can't you leave me alone for just tonight?'

'Clearly I can't because you can't be trusted to not go off the deep end if left to your own devices. What did you think getting blind drunk would accomplish exactly? And on rum no less, Captain Guyliner's drink of choice are you trying to torture yourself?' Regina asked scathingly.

Emma lost it, stumbling to her feet she screamed at Regina 'DON'T YOU EVER SPEAK ABOUT HIM THAT WAY! HE MEANT MORE TO ME THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW, HOW DARE YOU BELITTLE HIM? HOW DARE YOU COME HERE AND THROW MY GRIEF IN MY FACE!'

Regina couldn't stand seeing Emma this way. 'Emma stop. Stop this now. You're better than this.' She said softly. She desperately wanted to reach out to the other woman but something held her back.

'I'm not better than this. You know I'm not. I've ruined your life more times than I can count. Even more times than my mother did.' Emma's sudden rage had faded just as quickly and she stood still looking at the floor, her words slurred together slightly.

'Emma listen to me because I am only going to say this once.' Regina said sharply. Emma was still looking at the floor.

'Emma LOOK AT ME.'

Emma slowly raised her eyes to meet Regina's.

'You have NOT ruined my life, this wasn't your fault and it's time you stopped punishing yourself for what happened.' Regina said firmly.

'I'm not punishing myself.' Emma insisted stubbornly, swaying slightly.

'Drowning yourself in alcohol isn't punishing yourself? What about refusing to eat? Staying at home as much as possible? Avoiding your parents? Emma you're full of shit and you know it.' Regina said bluntly.

'I am NOT refusing to eat Regina. It's hard for some people…' Emma mumbled.

 _It's hard for some people?_ Regina thought in disbelief, her pity quickly turning to anger. She wanted Emma back this pathetic stumbling creature was far beneath her.

'Stop making excuses Emma and stop being so pathetic.' She said firmly her eyes flashing dangerously. 'What happened to the strong stunning woman who blew through this town like a hurricane cutting down trees and saving people? What happened to THAT Emma because I sure as hell miss her. She deserves better.'

Emma's eyes flashed angrily. 'Fuck you Regina. Don't you DARE judge me for how I'm coping especially after I had to sooth you over a fight with Henry caused by a fucking pillow! If I'm so weak and pathetic then how is it that I still manage to be here for you when you need it? Why am I the one getting yelled at when you're having just as hard a time as I am?' She angrily swiped at the tears running down her cheeks.

'Because I'm not trying to destroy myself!' She yelled.

Emma shrugged. 'I'm not trying to destroy myself Regina.'

Regina practically stamped her foot in frustration (but just managed to resist the urge) before she waved her hand and transported them both to Emma's bathroom.

'Look at yourself.' She said, pulling Emma to the mirror and positioning her in front of it.

'Regina what are you doing?' Emma asked tiredly.

'When you look at yourself Swan what do you see?' Regina said again, keeping a firm grip on her waist so Emma wouldn't fall over.

Emma looked at herself and frowned. 'Well right now I see two of me… And they're both a little blurry. I guess I drank more than I thought.'

'Oh for heaven's sake.' Regina huffed and waved her hand once more.

Emma all of a sudden felt completely sober. It was the strangest sensation she had ever experienced. Once second she was wavering on the spot held in place by Regina looking at two of her reflection in the mirror, the next she was clearheaded and quite capable of rational thought, not needing to be held up by anyone.

Which of course made her irrationally angry. 'What the hell did you do to me?' She growled.

'I just removed all the alcohol from your blood stream.'

'You what?!'

'You're welcome.' Regina said with a small smirk.

Emma frowned. I'm not sure I should be thanking you.' She said slowly. 'You've undone all my hard work from last few hours.'

'Good.' Regina said. 'Now look at yourself and tell me what you see.'

Emma sighed and examined herself in the mirror. Now that she was sober she couldn't deny that Regina was right to a certain extent. She looked terribly thin. Her bones were sticking out and her hair was limp and lifeless, there were huge dark circles under her eyes that were darker than the day before. She was disintegrating.

 _I'm certainly not beautiful anymore._ She thought dully, not that it even mattered anyway, no one was left to love her and she certainly wasn't going to let anyone else that close to her again. People she fell in love with always ended up dying. Still she had always been beautiful, no doubt as a result of that pesky "product of true love" garbage and it irked her slightly that she now looked like a train wreck. Could she be any vainer?

'I look like a train wreck.' She said flatly.

'Well that's not quite the term I would use but yes, you do. You have to eat Emma.' Regina said, still holding Emma's waist gently.

'It's not like I'm not trying Regina I am, but I just have no appetite. None! It's like I have this knot inside my stomach all day every day and it just grows bigger and bigger and it gets harder and harder to eat.' Emma said sadly. 'And this? You storming in here and yelling at me and berating me to eat more? This isn't helping!'

Regina dropped her hands from Emma and placed them on her hips. 'Well neither was leaving you to sort it out yourself because all that led to was copious amounts of alcohol!'

'I'm an adult. I can actually get drunk if I want to.'

'Not anymore.' Regina said firmly. 'No more coddling. If you don't eat properly every day I will magic food into your stomach. If you don't sleep I will put you under a sleeping curse! Do you understand? And you're going to start exercising again and getting out of doors more. I doubt you could win a battle with a fly right now much less an actual criminal and you're the Sheriff for god's sake!'

'You can magically put food in my stomach?' Emma asked incredulously.

'If I can take alcohol out of your bloodstream I can certainly put food in your stomach. Don't test me on this. I promise you I'll do it.'

'Please. You may be powerful but so am I Regina, a simple protection spell will keep you out of my house altogether. You won't be able to get near me.' Emma scoffed, pushing past Regina and stomping out of the bedroom. 'I'm calling your bluff.'

'Why don't you try it?' Regina asked casually.

'Try what?'

'Try casting a protection spell. Or any spell really. Why don't you try transporting yourself downstairs?'

Emma narrowed her eyes at Regina and waved her hand. Nothing happened.

'What the hell?' She said and waved her hand again. Again nothing happened.

'You were saying?' Regina asked mockingly. 'Seems like you can't cast much of anything right now.'

Emma sank down on her bed and covered her face with her hands. She looked completely and utterly defeated and for a moment Regina felt pity for her. She went to sit next to her on the bed.

'Emma don't lose heart.' She said softly. 'You can't cast because you're too weak right now. Magic takes a lot of energy and you currently don't have any. As soon as you eat properly and exercise and get some decent sleep I promise you you'll be as strong and as powerful as you once were.'

'I don't care Regina.' Emma said raising her head. 'I really don't care if I can do magic anymore. Magic is what caused all this in the first place anyway isn't it?'

'Well I don't care if you care or not. It's still going to happen. You need to stop this ridiculous defeatist attitude. You will eat, you will exercise and you're going to go back to practicing magic every day with me whether you like it or not.' Regina said sharply. 'It's time for you to stop being so selfish.'

'You think I'm selfish?' Emma said in a small voice.

'I think you're currently being selfish yes.' Regina qualified. 'Emma do you have any idea how worried everyone is about you? Your parents came to see me for crying out loud. For them to ask me of all people to help is almost amusing.'

'You judge yourself and them too harshly.' Emma said softly. 'You know they value you and think of you as family now.'

'Be that as it may they still would rather not come to me for help with their daughter, don't forget I'm the reason they didn't see you grow up.' Regina said sadly.

Emma remained silent.

Regina continued her rant. 'And Henry? He's suffering more than you realise. He also lost two people close to him and now he has to watch both his mother's suffer and one waste away to nothing. Do you have any idea what losing you would do to him? What it already is doing to him?'

'That's a low blow. And he isn't losing me.' Emma said firmly. 'I'm right here.'

'Barely.' Regina scowled. 'And what about me Emma? You're my best friend, as crazy as that is and I don't have many friends. I've lost more people that I love than anyone. I don't let people close to me for good reason and you've wormed your way in anyway, despite all I've done to you. You're the reason I changed. You're the reason I'm good. It's killing me to watch what you're doing to yourself. I can't even think of what I would do now if I lost you. Are you so selfish that you'd let me lose another person I love? Especially when I'm barely holding it together as it is?' Regina's voice cracked slightly.

Emma looked into Regina's dark eyes and felt her heart skip a beat. She had no idea that she felt that strongly for her and suddenly she felt ashamed. 'I'm sorry.' She whispered. 'I want to get better and to be myself again but I need help.'

'I'll help you. You just have to trust me.' Regina said softly.

'I do.'

'And you might have to help me too. I meant it when I said I'm barely holding it together.' Regina grimaced.

'We make quite a pair don't we?' Emma said with a small laugh.

'Indeed.'

'I'm always frightened now.' Emma confessed. 'Ever since the Underworld. I don't remember what it feels like not to be frightened.'

Regina sighed. 'I wish I could tell you otherwise Emma I really do, but I don't know how that feels either.'

'Probably before the curse broke was the last time we felt safe hey? When Storybrooke was just a sleepy town with no magic?'

'Probably yes. It feels like a long time ago now.' Regina mused, thinking back to that time. She had felt safe before Emma had come to Storybrooke, that was certain but she had also felt bored. And unloved.

'Do you ever wish that I had never come?' Emma asked quietly.

'No I don't.' Regina said forcefully. 'Not anymore.'

'Why not?'

Regina took Emma's hand gently and gave it a squeeze. 'Because dear if you hadn't come to town, I wouldn't have a family now and neither would you. I still wouldn't be anything more than the Evil Queen.' _And I wouldn't have you_ she added to herself.

Emma leant against Regina dropping her head onto her shoulder. 'Yeah.'

'Yes.' Regina said softly.

'You've never been the Evil Queen to me though.' Emma said softly. 'To me you were always just Regina.'

'Yeah well be thankful you never met her, she was a real bitch.'

'I did meet her remember?' Emma reminded her. 'And yes she was. Although you were still just Regina to me, even then.' Emma laughed to herself remembering Kilian's warning to her that the Evil Queen was NOT Regina. Then she sighed because thinking of Kilian hurt. _I'm doing a lousy job of keeping my promise to him._ She thought.

'What time do we start tomorrow?' She asked with a sigh. It was time she stopped being broken and started being strong again. Enough was enough.

 **A/N – Thanks for reading! This chapter came out a little more angsty than intended but our two ladies need to deal with their pain before they can move on with each other... Please review and tell me what you think! Meanwhile who else can't wait for the start of season 6?!**


	5. When You're All Stripped Down

**A/N – Thanks for all the favs, reviews and follows! It's certainly appreciated.**

Chapter 5 - when you're all stripped down

 _Regina watched Emma closely, a ghost of a smile on her lips as she watched Emma frown in concentration while weaving a stream of complicated magic through the air watching it dance and turn above her. Her pale gold hair spilled over her shoulders and tumbled down her back haphazardly. Regina watched the flow and movement of her arms, her eyes tracing Emma's muscles as they strained against the strength of the magic she was manipulating. Regina had never seen anything so beautiful._

 _After a moment the glowing white strands of magic flowing from Emma's finger tips began to turn dark until they became a thick purple cloud that hovered over them both threatening to suffocate them. Regina put her hand on Emma's arm and said 'We have to go. We have to go right now.'_

 _With one arm Emma waved the heavy purple strands closer and looked at Regina with a cold smile. 'Isn't this what you wanted Your Majesty?' She asked, her eyes a deep navy color boring into her. 'You made this Regina. You made ME. And now you will suffer for it.'_

 _Emma opened her mouth and roared, sharp pointed teeth growing long from her jaws, her hair turning to fire as she lunged for Regina bringing the purple cloud down on top of them._

Regina woke with a start, heart racing and dripping with sweat. Where had that dream come from?

Usually her nightmares were filled with lightening, and Robin would disappear in front of her over and over again, and sometimes he would merge with Daniel and sometimes he would turn into her father but until this night she had never before dreamt of Emma.

Well not in a bad way anyway.

Regina closed her eyes for a moment and tried desperately to remember Emma in reality, not the hideous creature she had just seen in her dream.

She took a breath and thought of what she loved most about Emma; she thought of green eyes and soft blond hair and the smell and feel of her magic like a soft spring breeze caressing her skin. She thought of the way she looked at Henry when she thought no one was looking, like he was a gift to not just the two of them but the whole world. She thought of her strength and of how she had overcome so much in her life and still managed to be perfectly and completely good through and through. She didn't know anyone else in this world or any world for that matter that was that strong, that unbreakable.

Slowly the nightmare faded and Regina relaxed, still focusing her mind on Emma's face, the crease in her forehead when she was concentrating hard on something and the way her voice broke slightly when she was worried.

Her thoughts then strayed to their recent magic lessons and the early morning jogs that Emma had first grumbled about but now seemed overly enthusiastic for. Regina hated running with every fiber of her being, in fact she would have given up altogether if Emma hadn't kept showing up at her door every morning, and Regina couldn't be the first one to give up no matter how much she detested it.

It was all very well for Emma, who seemed to look even more attractive when covered in a thin sheen of sweat, hair still perfect and cheeks slightly red from the exertion. Regina was the opposite, drenched in sweat and hair all frizzy, her face as red as a tomato. Thank god she has insisted that they run at 6am only. Her reputation would be completely ruined if anyone else saw her this way.

No the only good thing about the whole debacle was that Emma was improving.

Her eyes were brighter and she smiled more as she ran, her hair shone again and she was slowly gaining weight. This was mostly because Regina also insisted on her eating breakfast every morning with her and Henry after their run. It was always an exceptionally healthy breakfast (Henry called them exceptionally boring breakfasts or EBBs for short) and Regina watched Emma like a hawk until she had finished every bite. She had been slowly increasing the portions each week until now Emma was eating a normal sized breakfast.

Though getting her to eat initially had been a battle Regina could certainly see Emma was on the mend physically which made it all worth it, and this also manifested in their magic lessons. It hadn't been more than a week before Emma managed to cast effectively again, and they had now moved to exploring just how much they could do together. It wasn't lost on them that whenever things had been particularly dire in the past it was only through their conjoined magic that they had been successful in saving the day. Regina thought it would be wise to test just what they were capable of so they'd be better prepared in the future.

Emma seemingly had no problems with this although she did say she was concerned that they might blow the entire town up by accident.

Regina sighed. Yes Emma was definitely getting better. If only she could say the same for herself.

She was still experiencing nightmares every night and often she woke up in strange places with no idea how she had got there. Once it was the laundry floor, with her leant up against the dryer. Once it was in her car.

She was obviously sleepwalking and that thought frightened her, who knew what she might do whilst asleep? What if she cast a spell on someone? What if she was actually becoming the Evil Queen in her sleep?

So far she hadn't woken up anywhere away from her house but after the incident with her car she always made sure it was locked before going to bed just in case, and hopefully her sleeping self wasn't capable of also finding the keys.

She sighed and pulled back the covers jumping out of bed and heading down the hallway to check on Henry. She couldn't seem to shake this habit despite the fact that he was almost sixteen and really didn't need checking on anymore. Then again he was Emma's son and he had perfected the art of running away at the tender age of ten so perhaps her fears were somewhat warranted.

Henry was sleeping soundly and Regina smiled as she gently pulled his door closed again. Grabbing a glass of water from her bathroom she snuggled back down in her bed and attempted to go back to sleep.

…

Emma still couldn't sleep.

Despite how much better she was doing in the last several weeks her sleeping habits were still all over the place, and while some nights she slept a full eight hours other nights (like this one) she struggled to get one.

On nights like these she reverted to old habits and found herself in her bug, patrolling the streets. It was almost too bad that Storybrooke had relaxed into what was nothing more than your typical sleepy country town (albeit with the occasional burst of magic here and there) as it almost made Emma feel redundant in her job, resigned to dealing mostly with petty crime and vandalism.

On a night like this she really needed a distraction, something to take her mind off how she was feeling and nothing was forthcoming. She had been driving for half the night already and she had just decided to head home and try for an hours sleep when she saw something strange out of the corner of her eye.

It looked like nothing more than a shadow at first, just a slight movement in the bushes by the side of the road to her right. It was raining and had been for hours, typical of Storybrooke in this season and Emma was about to dismiss the shadow as no big deal when suddenly she saw something emerge from the bushes and dart across the road in front of her. It was unmistakably a person, a woman in fact and she appeared to be naked.

Emma slammed on her brakes and her tyres squealed as she lost control of the car and it fishtailed across the road. She came to a stop just seconds before she hit the embankment and breathed a sigh of relief before cursing quickly under her breath. She quickly reversed the bug and parked it neatly on the side of the road before jumping out and heedless of the rain sprinted into the bushes where the woman had disappeared.

It wasn't long until she found her, soaking wet and standing in the middle of a field. Through the heavy rain it was hard to tell at first who it was, all Emma could see was dark hair and a white figure. It wasn't until she got closer that she realized it was Regina.

She wasn't naked, as Emma had first thought, though she might as well have been. She was wearing only a white lacy negligee and white panties, both of which were soaked through with the rain and leaving nothing to the imagination. Her hair was plastered to the sides of her face and she was shivering. Her eyes were wild and completely unaware.

Emma approached her slowly, carefully, so as not to spook her into running again. It was quite obvious that she was in a trance of some kind or perhaps even sleepwalking. She didn't have much experience with either but knew that trying to wake Regina from it wasn't wise.

Regina didn't show any further signs of running, she just stood there in the rain silently, allowing Emma to approach her.

'Regina?' Emma asked. ''Are you okay?' As soon as she asked the question she felt foolish, as it was quite clear that she wasn't okay at all.

Regina didn't answer.

Emma took off her black woolen coat and placed it around Regina's shoulders pulling her close, wrapping both arms around her and holding her tightly.

'Let's get you home.' She murmured and led her quietly back to the road where the bug was parked. She helped her into the car and put her seat belt on, covering her with the coat while trying not to look at what was underneath.

Emma got into the driver's seat and cranked up the heat. Glancing over at Regina she frowned. 'Regina can you hear me?' She asked softly, her voice wavering a little. 'Are you alright?'

Regina gave a soft sigh. 'I'm all right dear. Just out for a walk you know.'

Emma nodded once. 'Let's get you home okay?' There was something seriously wrong.

Emma drove as carefully as she could through the unrelenting rain until she arrived at the mansion and then she wondered what the hell was she supposed to do now? Regina really didn't seem to have come back to herself and she was half naked and freezing. It wasn't like she could wake Henry, he'd freak out if he saw this, and then when Regina came back to her senses she'd kill Emma for letting Henry see her like this. Of course she'd probably kill Emma anyway but that was a risk she was going to have to take, she couldn't just leave her here.

Emma switched off the ignition and jumped quickly out of the car, heading around to the passenger side to help Regina out. She still seemed to be dazed, but didn't resist the help. In fact she seemed happy to be led into the house by Emma who thankfully had her key with her.

Once inside she led Regina upstairs to her bathroom and then she paused for a half a second. How exactly was she going to do this? She couldn't just leave her in the shower alone. The woman had been running half naked through a storm for fucks sake! However the thought of her stripping Regina naked and showering her was just not something she could do, not without the other woman's consent.

As Regina stood there shivering Emma made a decision. She'd just have to live with the consequences but she wasn't going to let Regina freeze for a moment longer. She turned the water on and quickly stripped down to her panties and tank top and pulled the both of them into the shower and under the warm water.

She once again wrapped her arms around Regina pulling her close as the water ran over them. She rubbed her arms up and down Regina's sides to warm her more quickly and slowly Regina's trembles started to ease. Emma gently pushed her back towards the spray so her hair was under the water, and she smoothed it back slowly, gently pushing it from her face and wiping the water out of her eyes.

They stayed there in the shower together for what felt like hours, though it was probably closer to twenty minutes. Emma held Regina close to her, her dark head resting on Emma's shoulder just above her breast rocking her slightly. She felt a sob hitch up in her chest and pushed it down as she fought to stay calm. What on earth had happened tonight to cause this?

It was then that she felt Regina flinch and twitch slightly in her arms, and then she stiffened.

'Regina?' Emma asked hesitantly pulling back to look at her. Regina's eyes were focused and narrowed as she took in her surroundings. She was awake, whatever trance she was in had passed.

'Emma?' She asked uncertainly. 'What happened? Where am I? Why the hell are we in our underwear in my shower? What did we do?' She was beginning to panic.

Emma let go of her completely and backed away to the other side of the shower, leaving Regina under the spray. She suddenly felt completely exposed, and she crossed her arms in front of her aware that it did little to hide how see through her tank top was. She lowered her eyes.

'I found you outside in the rain at 4am in nothing but what you're wearing now.' She murmured, still looking at the floor of the shower. 'I think you were in a trance or sleepwalking or something.'

'So you took me home and put me in the shower?' Regina asked, her eyebrows raised while just standing there and making no effort to cover herself whatsoever.

Emma nodded. 'You were freezing. I wrapped you in my coat and brought you home, but I didn't want to wake Henry. I didn't think you or he would like that.'

'And you got in here with me?'

'I didn't want you to drown.' Emma said, waiting for Regina to recover herself enough to get even snippier and throw her out.

Regina nodded slowly. 'I must have been sleepwalking. It's been happening lately.' She paused for a moment. 'Though not to this extent. It's alarming.'

Emma suddenly felt very aware of Regina's proximity and near nakedness. 'I'll just uh let you finish in here.' She opened the shower and began to step out. 'You're okay now right?'

'I'm not going to drown in here if that's what you mean.' Regina said softly. 'There are fresh towels on the shelf above the vanity and feel free to borrow some of my clothing. I won't be long and then I'll make us some tea.'

'Thank you.' Emma said sincerely. 'I appreciate it.'

Regina gave her a strange look as she stepped out of the shower and then tactfully turned around so she was facing away so Emma could dry herself in privacy.

Emma awkwardly stripped off her wet clothing and pulled a towel from above the vanity to wrap herself in. She dried herself quickly before wrapping the towel around her body and exiting the bathroom. She headed to Regina's bedroom where she quickly found a pair of grey sweat pants and a black tank top, she momentarily considered borrowing a pair of panties but then dismissed that as being too weird. Once she was dressed she headed to the kitchen to leave Regina to dress in private.

The kettle had just boiled for the tea when Regina came down the stairs, dressed in silk pajamas and wrapped in a blanket. She was trembling.

'You're still cold.' Emma said.

Regina nodded. 'I can't seem to stop shaking.'

'Go back upstairs and hop into bed.' Emma said quickly. 'I'll make the tea and bring it up.'

Regina just nodded wearily.

When Emma headed up the stairs with the tea she found Regina in bed, the covers drawn up to her chin. Emma sat beside her and handed her the cup of tea.

'You should drink this, it will help.' She said gently.

Regina sat up slightly and took the tea sipping it slowly.

'How long have you been sleepwalking for?' Emma asked.

'I'm not sure to be honest. A few weeks perhaps?' Regina made a face at the tea and handed the mug back to Emma.

'That good hey?' Emma placed it on the bedside table.

'No it's fine I just don't feel well that's all.' Regina said. 'Emma did anyone see me?' She asked in a very small voice.

'No I don't think so. It was pouring with rain and very late at night. I'm sure the only person stupid enough to be driving around at that time of night would be me.' Emma said rubbing Regina's arm slightly.

'Good.' Regina said and then started to cry.

'Hey it's okay. I promise no one saw you.' Emma said again.

'You saw me. That's bad enough, but that you had to take care of me and see me in that condition wearing practically nothing is almost as horrifying.' Regina said sadly, her hands covering her face.

'Well you saw me wearing practically nothing too.' Emma pointed out gently.

Regina smiled softly. 'Well yes that's true. That was your own choice though.'

Emma didn't really want to talk about that. 'I'm worried about you.'

'Now you know how I've felt for the past several months.'

Emma sighed. 'Well maybe you should have concentrated less on me and more on yourself.'

Regina looked at Emma through the tears that were still falling. She hastily wiped them away. 'If I'd done that Miss Swan then there would be nothing left of you.'

'I doubt that. But thank you anyway.' Emma said, looking away from her.

Regina pulled a hand out from other the covers and touched Emma's thigh gently. 'Thank you Emma.' She said, and Emma turned to look into her eyes once more. 'I mean it. Thank you for finding me and bringing me home and taking care of me. Thank you for not waking our son and making him worry. Most of all thank you for being my friend.'

'You're welcome.' Emma said, brushing a stray lock of hair from Regina's face. It was very hot to touch and Emma felt a flicker of worry run through her.

'Regina you're burning up, I think you have a fever. Do you have a thermometer?'

'Of course I do. I'm a mother.' Regina said witheringly. 'It's in the bathroom cabinet.'

Emma quickly found it and discovered that yes Regina was running a fever, and that it was a fairly high one at that. 'You need to rest.' She said firmly, handing her some Tylenol she'd also found in the bathroom. 'Take these and try and sleep okay? I'll be back in the morning to check on you.'

'It is the morning Emma.' Regina pointed out as she sat up slowly and took the tablets.

She was right it was nearly 6am already. 'Well then I'll be back in a few hours.' She said lightly and turned to leave.

'Please don't leave me.' Regina said quietly. 'Please, just stay here.'

Emma turned and found Regina staring at her pleading with big dark eyes in a flushed face. She looked terrible, and Emma didn't want to leave. Instead she went to the other side of the bed and toed off her shoes and removed her jacket. 'Okay but move over cause I'm exhausted and I need a couple hours rest too.'

'There's plenty of space on that side without me having to move over you know.' Regina grumbled as Emma hopped into bed beside her.

'Yes Your Majesty.' Emma said with a grin and reached out to stroke Regina's hair back from her face. 'Wake me if you need me okay?' She whispered.

'Okay.' Regina said softly her eyes closing. Emma's soon followed.

Emma woke a short time later to the sound of retching, and she frowned. Regina was clearly very unwell if the sounds of vomiting coming from the bathroom were any indication. She didn't know if she should check on Regina or if she should just leave her be. Eventually she decided to get her a glass of water and check to make sure she was okay.

She gently pushed open the bathroom door and offered Regina the water. 'Here this might help.'

Regina was sitting on the floor of the bathroom with her head leaning against the toilet. Her skin was clammy and she was trembling. She didn't move to take the water from Emma and eventually Emma just sat on the floor next to her and placed the water on the ground next to them.

'Regina you need to get back into bed, sitting in this floor isn't good for you.' Emma said softly. 'And you need to keep your fluids up.' She added.

Regina just groaned. 'I'm afraid if I drink it right now it will make a reappearance.'

'Let me help you back to bed.' Emma said, standing slowly and offering Regina her hand.

'Emma you should go home. Whatever this illness is you don't want to catch it.' Regina sighed.

'I'm not leaving you.' Emma said firmly, and she took Regina by the arm and gently helped her up and back into her bed. 'Besides I know you'd do the same for me.' She added.

'Lets hope it doesn't come to that.' Regina groaned as she sat up slightly. 'I hate looking after sick people.'

Emma pushed her back down. 'Shush, you need to rest. I'm gonna go wake Henry for school and I expect you to be asleep by the time I come back to check on you.'

'Have you always been this bossy Swan?' Regina asked with a frown.

'I guess you just bring it out in me.' Emma said. 'Now rest.'

…

Regina was sick for the rest of the week, and while she kicked Emma out after two days she did allow her to look after her somewhat. Henry wasn't much help as Emma discovered a few days later when she fell sick herself. He was unbelievably squeamish and literally ran away when he came home from school one day to find her hunched over the toilet vomiting.

A short time later Regina appeared in Emma's bedroom and pressed a cold washcloth to her forehead. 'Henry arrived in a teenage panic.' She explained.

'He's not good with vomit.' Emma moaned.

'I remember. He said you were sick and as it was probably my fault it meant I had to look after you.'

'You don't have to look after me.' Emma sighed, lifting her head weakly. 'You're barely better yourself.'

'And if you hadn't been there for me I'd probably still be sick, so just save your energy and do as you're told for once.' Regina snapped.

'Okay.' Emma frowned. 'But you need to move out of my way cause I think I'm gonna be sick again.' Regina jumped back as Emma made a break for the bathroom. Instead of waiting till she was done she headed after her and gently pulled back Emma's hair as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

'Oh please why do you have to be in here for this?' Emma moaned.

'Because if I wasn't you'd get vomit in your hair.' Regina said. 'Again.' She added, her nose wrinkling slightly.

'I got vomit in my hair?' Emma asked weakly.

'Unfortunately yes.'

'Just kill me now.'

'I think Henry might miss you.' Regina said softly, still holding Emma's hair gently. 'Are you finished?'

'I think so.' Emma said uncertainly. 'For now anyway.'

'Then it's time for a shower.'

'I honestly don't think I can stand up that long.'

'You can because you have to Swan. And if you don't I'll have to shower you myself. Don't think I won't do it.'

'Okay okay I'll do it.' Emma said hastily. She was already embarrassed enough, the thought of Regina having to shower her made her feel like throwing up again.

'Good. Make sure you wash your hair.' Regina said briskly.

Emma rolled her eyes. 'Obviously.'

'I'll be right outside if you need anything okay?' Regina said in a softer tone.

'Okay.'

By the time Emma had got out of the shower Regina had stripped her sheets and remade her bed with fresh ones. Emma flopped down on the bed still wrapped in her towel. She had barely made it through her shower and felt as weak as a new born kitten.

Regina thrust some clean pyjamas at her and then tactfully left the room. 'Get dressed, and get into bed. You'll feel better trust me.' She called over her shoulder.

Emma just nodded and then forced herself to move. Thankfully when Regina returned she was dressed and in bed with her wet hair tied in a knot on top of her head and resting on her towel.

'Feel any better?' Regina asked softly, holding her hand to Emma's forehead. 'You're a bit cooler.'

'A little.' Emma said, a few tears running down her cheeks. 'No one's ever taken care of me like this before.' She added.

'Not even as a child?' Regina asked.

'Especially not as a child.' Emma said softly. 'They don't really care about you in the system.'

'I'm so sorry Emma.'

'It's not your fault.' Emma said, even though they both knew it was. 'Besides you're here now.' She added reaching out for Regina's hand. 'Thank you.'

Regina didn't reply, the lump in her throat getting bigger by the second.

'Remind me again why we couldn't magic ourselves better?' Emma asked hopefully.

'You know I can't fix something if I don't know what it is.' Regina said. 'I can't remove your illness when it could be caused by anything. Besides we can't depend on magic for everything. This isn't a simple cut or scrape Emma, it doesn't work that way.'

'I know I know.' Emma moaned. 'I just hate feeling like death that's all. Where did you even get this illness anyway? Isn't there someone else we can pin this on?'

Regina laughed. 'Sorry but no. I don't know anyone else who has this or how I could have got it. I usually don't fall ill at all. Though running around outside in the rain in my underwear certainly didn't help. No doubt my immune system was lowered sufficiently.'

'How is that anyway?' Emma asked softly.

'How is what?'

'The sleepwalking? Are you still having nightmares?'

'Yes to the nightmares. No to the sleepwalking.' Regina said shortly. 'Although I haven't exactly been strong enough to get out of bed until recently.' She added.

Emma nodded.

They sat there in silence for a few moments.

'We need a break.' Emma said suddenly.

'What do you mean?'

'I mean we need to get out of here for a while. With everything that's happened I just don't really find Storybrooke to be a comforting place anymore.'

'You mean it once was?' Regina asked disbelievingly.

'Of course it was. I found my family here.' Emma said. 'But now I just want to step away from it all for a bit. I need time away and you do too. Neither of us are getting any better here. Clearly.' She said gesturing to her bedridden pyjama clad self.

Regina thought about this. In fact Emma had been getting better. Until she fell ill anyway which was really all her fault. No it was actually Regina who didn't seem to be getting better now.

'We should go when I'm better.' Emma continued. 'Before we have another town crisis and we all get sent to another dimension again.'

'You say that like it's inevitable.' Regina said.

'Isn't it?' Emma asked tiredly.

'Perhaps.' Regina paused. 'What do you think people will say if we suddenly leave town together?' She could hardly believe she was actually considering this.

'Does it matter? They'll probably assume we've gone on some secret mission to save the world.'

Regina laughed. 'That's probably true.'

'So will you come with me?' Emma asked hopefully.

Regina paused. 'I assume Henry will stay with your parents?'

'I guess so?'

'Okay why not?' Regina said with a smile. 'The Evil Queen and the Saviour on holiday together. Who would have thought that would ever happen?'

'I'd prefer just Emma and Regina thanks.' Emma said making a face. 'And I wouldn't exactly call it a holiday.'

'Fine. Regina and Emma it is.' She said softly. 'Now just concentrate on getting better or we aren't going anywhere.'

Emma nodded, her eyes closing. 'Thanks Regina. Will you stay with me for a while?'

'Of course I will.' Regina whispered as Emma drifted off, then without thinking about it she leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead. 'Sleep well Emma.'

Maybe some time away was just what she needed.

 **A/N – Hope you liked the chapter! And I hope you all enjoyed the episode – my fav part was 'Hope is a choice.' I freaking love Regina!**

 **Please review and let me know what you think!**


	6. No Fool Proof Plan

**A/N – Sorry for the substantial delay on this. I hope it won't be this long between chapters again.**

Chapter 6 - No Foolproof Plan

It was a few weeks until Emma and Regina managed to get away. Emma had taken longer to recover from her illness than Regina had and then they had actually had to agree on where to go and plan an itinerary. This was at Regina's insistence as Emma much preferred to just leave and see where they ended up.

Deciding where to go had been harder than they'd thought. Emma wanted to go somewhere where there was a beach and had strongly advocated for going all the way down to Miami. Regina didn't feel comfortable going so far from home and said Miami was cheap looking and touristy.

Emma just managed to bite her tongue instead of pointing out that Regina had barely left Storybrooke let alone gone anywhere near Miami so how would she know? She actually suspected it was an excuse as Regina didn't feel very comfortable in big cities and didn't find them at all restful. Her one trip to New York City had proved that.

While Emma loved big cities she had no problem with small country towns either (you couldn't get much smaller than Storybrooke after all.) Eventually after much discussion they settled on visiting the Port city of Wilmington in North Carolina, situated between the Cape Fear River and the Atlantic Ocean. Regina said North Carolina sounded quaint and was still close enough to Storybrooke that they could get back quickly if needed. Emma was happy because there was a beach she could lie on for days, and it was actually quite far from Storybrooke.

They booked two rooms in a historic bed and breakfast in downtown for two weeks and then had a fast and furious fight about whether they would fly or drive.

Emma drew the line at sitting in a car for 18 hours and insisted they fly. Regina ranted about the safety of planes and how did they manage to keep them in the sky without magic anyway before she finally folded when Emma said she would only drive if it was in her bug. It turned out Regina was more afraid of Emma's bug than she was of flying.

And so it was that one morning they found themselves crammed into the Sheriff's car with David and Henry (who insisted on coming to the airport with them) having just said goodbye to a tearful Snow. She had hugged them both hard and told them to enjoy themselves but not stay away too long. Emma had hugged her mother back tightly and assured her that they would come back soon. Regina had allowed the hug but for some reason still didn't look wholly comfortable with Snow's arms around her.

They finally arrived at the airport and said goodbye to David and Henry.

'Behave yourself.' Regina said firmly to Henry, before hugging him hard.

'And the same goes for you too.' Emma said to David with a smirk. She turned to Henry 'Keep him out of trouble won't you kid?'

Henry laughed. 'I will don't worry,' he said hugging Emma. 'Take care of yourselves and each other okay?'

'We will dear don't worry.' Regina said.

'I'm not. Well maybe a little but more about whether or not Storybrooke will fall apart with you two gone.' Henry said.

'I'm sure you can hold it together for us for a few weeks at least.' Emma said.

'We'll miss you. Both of you.' David said firmly, hugging Emma but speaking to Regina too.

'We'll miss you too.' Regina said with a slight smile.

Eventually they finished saying good bye and headed into the airport terminal.

They hadn't managed to book a non-stop flight straight to Wilmington (because there weren't any) and so had one stop in Atlanta with an hour layover. Regina was mumbling about how driving would have been much easier and Emma sighed. 'If you're nervous about flying you could just say so. You wouldn't be alone in that you know. Mr Gold was terrified.'

'Please don't compare me to that Imp. I like to think I have more finesse than him.' Regina scowled.

'Well if it helps you're dealing with it much better than he did.' Emma said with a smile.

'Oh good that makes me feel so much better.' Regina said sarcastically.

'Well I'm sure you'll feel much better once we're in the air. And they just called our flight so it's time to board.'

'Great.'

'Trust me this is way less scary than pretty much anything else you've ever done. Travelling by plane is nothing compared to travelling by portal!' Emma said.

'It's different when you're the one controlling the portal Emma.' Regina said witheringly as they joined the line to board the plane.

Emma just shook her head at her as they handed their boarding passes over to the flight attendants for scanning.

Despite Emma offering it to her Regina declined the window seat opting for the middle seat instead. Thankfully there was no one seated next to them.

When the plane took off Regina gripped the seat handles tightly but once they were in the air she relaxed. 'That's it?' She said in surprise. 'You can barely tell we're moving!'

'Well that's not always the case, sometimes the turbulence can get pretty bad especially if we fly through bad weather.' Emma said.

'Forgive the obvious question but how exactly does it stay up in the air with no magic?' Regina frowned, as she leant over Emma slightly to get a look out the window.

Emma took a deep breath as the scent of Regina washed over her, her eyes drawn to the gold necklace glinting in the sun hanging from Regina's neck. She started slightly, and her stomach flipped.

'I actually don't know.' She said slowly. 'I haven't ever thought about it.'

'It's amazing what we just take for granted isn't it?' Regina asked lightly, still leaning over her.

Emma nodded. She was wondering the exact same thing, only she wasn't thinking about flying she was thinking about the woman sitting next to her.

…

They made it to Atlanta safely and for the second flight Regina took the window seat. They arrived in Wilmington in the early evening and without incident, both flights had been relatively smooth.

They had decided to hire a car as it was the easiest way to get around town (mainly as the beach wasn't within walking distance), and a short time later they found themselves at the bed and breakfast they had booked.

It was an old inn that looked like it had been converted from a historical homestead. It was made of white brick with large pillars at the front that dropped from the third floor to the ground.

Regina parked in the driveway as they had been instructed and the two of them made their way up the front steps with their luggage and rang the bell.

A young man opened it for them.

'You must be Regina and Emma? We've been expecting you.' He said with a smile as he opened the door wide and let them in. 'I'm Dan. Welcome to the Graystone Inn.'

'We're a little later than he thought we'd be sorry.' Emma said apologetically. 'Our second flight was delayed.'

Dan smiled. 'It's really no problem at all. Where are you ladies from?'

'Storybrooke, Maine.' Regina said.

'Storybrooke? I've never heard of it.' Dan confessed.

'It's pretty much the smallest town in Maine.' Emma said quickly. 'Not many people have heard of it.' She frowned, thinking that perhaps it wasn't even on a map, after all the point of the original curse was that no one knew it existed and they certainly didn't want people to come searching for it.

Dan didn't seem too interested thankfully. 'You both have rooms on our very private third floor.' He said, handing them each a key. 'I'll take your bags up to your rooms for you in one moment but let me show you around the inn first.'

It really was a beautiful Inn. The ground floor held a kitchen where the guests would eat breakfast each morning at a long dining room table. There was a sitting room with a piano, and a library with a fireplace. Dan showed them where to find beach towels and how to make coffee and tea. They were even shown a small kitchenette with complimentary drinks and snacks in case they got hungry.

The best feature of the inn was a huge staircase right in the middle with a beautiful chandelier hanging from the top. Dan had picked up their bags and was showing them to the third floor, pointing out the rooms on the second floor as he went. 'There aren't many guests here at the moment actually.' He said, as they continued to the third floor. 'There's two couples on the second floor and just the two of you on the third floor.'

'So it will be fairly quiet then?' Regina questioned.

'Yes we like to protect the privacy of our guests.' Dan said. 'Even when the inn is full it's still fairly quiet. You'll find the kind of people who stay here are mostly older couples, people who just want to enjoy the relaxing lifestyle this town offers.'

'Sounds perfect.' Emma said.

The third floor was lovely. There were only three rooms and they had two of them, the third was currently empty. In the middle of the space was another sitting room, with dual couches and a coffee table.

Dan took Emma to her room first, and unlocked it for her, then went across the sitting room to Regina's. 'Please let me know if there's anything you need. I'll be here till nine tonight.' He said with a smile and then headed back downstairs.

Emma set about exploring her room. It was decorated in soft greens and had a beautiful four poster bed with elaborate wooden carvings. She headed into the bathroom which was black and ornate with a two person shower.

'Nice.' She said to herself. She stored her bag in the large closet and headed over to Regina's room.

'Wow.' She said when she walked into Regina's suite. 'This is huge.'

'You should see the bathroom dear.' Regina said with a smile.

Emma headed into the bathroom for a look and found a large Jacuzzi tub, plus a huge shower and beautiful marble sinks. 'Well at least you'll be relaxed here.' She called over her shoulder. 'We probably don't even have to leave this inn!'

'Other than the fact that we need to eat and they only serve breakfast here. So unless you're only intending to eat breakfast we'll have to leave sometime.' Regina said.

Emma's stomach rumbled at the mention of food. 'I'm starving. You want to go get some dinner?'

Regina's eyebrows rose. 'You ate a massive burger and fries in the airport earlier how can you be starving?'

'That was like at least 3 hours ago!' Emma exclaimed. 'You didn't eat anything, how can you not be starving?'

'I'm hungry yes, but I do have some self-control. Not all of us need to inhale our food.' Regina snapped, but secretly she was just relieved to see Emma's eating habits return to normal.

'Whatever. Let's head downtown and get some dinner.' Emma said.

Regina laughed and gestured Emma to lead the way as she pulled the door to her suite closed behind her.

Downtown Wilmington was beautiful. It was full of quaint little shops that sold everything from tacky souvenirs to high end clothing. They passed an old fashioned ice cream shop on the way that smelled so delicious Emma's stomach rumbled loudly in response.

Regina laughed. 'Let's get you some dinner'.

Emma nodded. 'But then I'm coming back for ice cream.'

'I might even join you in that, it smells delicious.' Regina replied.

'I'll believe it when I see it. Let's head down to the Riverwalk, There'll be a ton of restaurants along there.' Emma said. The Riverwalk was a boardwalk that ran along the Cape Fear River, and it ran the length of downtown.

Emma was right, there were a lot of restaurants along the Riverwalk and they settle on one called The George, where you could sit on the deck under a huge gold canopy and enjoy the view of the river. They were quickly seated, and ordered almost immediately.

'It's beautiful here.' Regina said smiling as she looked across the river towards the bridge.

'Mmmmm' Emma agreed, distracted. She was also looking across the water to an enormous battleship moored on the other side. It was obviously an old wartime battleship, most likely retired to this town as an added tourist attraction. Killian would have loved it.

'You thinking about Hook?' Regina asked casually, following Emma's gaze.

She nodded. 'I wish he could have seen that ship. He would have loved it.'

'No doubt he would have listed the many ways the Jolly Roger surpassed it.' Regina said with a smile.

Emma laughed. 'Yes I think he probably would have. He was more proud of that ship than anything.'

Regina shook her head 'I disagree. He was more proud of you I think. I know I've said before that I thought you were too good for him, and I stand by that but honestly you made him a better man. He owed you much.'

Emma shook her head. 'You have that backwards, I owed him so much. And I couldn't even deliver in the end could I?'

'Don't be ridiculous. We both know that you delivered every single day you were with him. And you _know_ he's in a better place. At least you have that much.' Regina pointed out.

'I know I'm sorry.' Emma said quickly. 'I can't imagine how that feels.'

. 'I'm choosing to take a page out of your mother's book and have hope.'

'She always says hope is a choice.'

'And so I'm choosing to believe that Robin made it to a better place. After all why would I trust Hades? The man didn't tell one truth the whole time we were in the Underworld.' Regina said determinedly.

Emma raised her eyebrows in response. 'That's a good point. Why would we believe him? Besides it also just doesn't make sense. When we die we have to go somewhere. That's been proven. So if we go somewhere then we _have_ to go somewhere you know?'

'Emma that made absolutely no sense whatsoever!' Regina laughed. 'But I understand what you mean and I agree. That's why I'm choosing to have hope I think.'

'I like to think of the two of them together somewhere.' Emma said quietly. 'It makes me feel better.'

Just then the waitress appeared with their food, placing the plates in front of them with a cheery smile and asking if there was anything else she could do.

Emma shook her head and waved her away. 'I wish the service at Granny's was as good at it is here.' She said stuffing a large forkful of steak and potatoes into her mouth.

Regina didn't say anything. She was too busy thinking about what Emma had just said. _It makes me feel better._ It made her feel better too.

'Are you gonna eat something or are you going to let it get cold?' Emma asked around her mouthful of food.

'It's a salad Emma. It's already cold.' Regina said with a roll of her eyes.

'It's a figure of speech.'

'No it isn't.' Regina said witheringly as she picked up her fork and took a bite.

For a few moments they just ate in silence, watching the river and the pedestrians strolling the boardwalk. There was no doubt about it, Wilmington was a beautiful, peaceful place.

'I could get used to this.' Regina said quietly.

'The beauty or the peace?'

'Both.'

'Think you could deal with living in a place with no magic?' Emma asked with a smirk. 'You have to walk everywhere.'

'I lived in one for 28 years. I'm sure I can manage it.'

'So did I, and I'm telling you – magic is better.'

Regina smiled softly. 'Yes it is.'

Emma sat back in her seat and gazed across the water. 'How long do you think it will be before we're summoned home to deal with some impending disaster?'

'Probably at least a week after we should have been called back. Just long enough for those idiots you call your parents to bungle things properly before admitting they need help.' Regina said almost fondly.

Emma laughed. 'You judge them so harshly! They still managed to kick your ass after all.'

Regina rose her eyebrows at Emma and looked her dead in the eye. 'How did they kick my ass exactly? I cast a curse that threw them into this world where they were separated for 28 years. They didn't _kick my ass_ , as you colourfully suggest dear. You did.'

Emma felt her cheeks redden at the intensity of Regina's gaze. She lowered her eyes and shifted slightly in her seat. 'And yet here we are all getting along like one big happy family.'

'We are one big happy family.'

'You really believe that?' Emma asked in surprise looking back at Regina.

'Of course I do.' Regina frowned. 'Would I be here otherwise?'

Emma smiled. 'I suppose not. I wonder about the happy part though.'

'Happiness comes and goes. It's a mood not a destination. Which is something I think Henry forgets on a regular basis.'

'That's true.' Emma said thoughtfully. 'He makes me forget that sometimes. All his talk about saviours bringing back all the happy endings.'

'I think you well and truly fulfilled that role now.' Regina said.

Emma shrugged. 'With two glaring exceptions.'

'If you're referring to the two of us you can forget it.' Regina snapped. 'We are healthy, we have a wonderful son, and we have each other and your insipid parents. What more can you bring us?'

 _We have each other_. Emma felt a warm glow spread through her at those words. 'We do have each other.' She agreed.

After dinner they decided to walk the entire length of the Riverwalk (since the restaurant was almost at one end anyway). It was beautiful and peaceful to stroll along taking in the sights and sounds of the late summer. They stopped towards the end for a moment and stood together watching the sun set behind the battleship.

Emma sighed. She couldn't deny that she missed Killian with all her heart but it was time to let him go and move on. Maybe Regina was right, maybe they were both happy too. Maybe this was their happy ending, having a family and a support network that neither of them had ever had in their whole lives and never dreamed they could have.

Without thinking about it Emma slipped her hand into Regina's as they stood together. She felt her tense a little in surprise but she didn't say anything and she didn't remove her hand.

They finished walking the Riverwalk and wandered up one of the side streets to the main historical section of downtown.

'Where did we see that Ice cream shop?' Emma asked.

'It was further down the street I think.' Regina said. 'Although how you can think about ice cream after that dinner is beyond me. Where do you put it all?'

'Well I have to catch up for starters.' Emma said lightly. 'It's not like I've been eating properly lately. But before I was always running around chasing drama so much that I just seemed to work it all off.'

'Have you always been like that?' Regina asked.

'When I was a kid I didn't eat well, and was often hungry. That comes with being in the system. Once I left prison and chose to become an actual grown up I decided I was always going to eat whatever and whenever I wanted. I chose to never be hungry again.' Emma said with a slight frown as she peered down the street looking for the ice cream shop.

Regina felt that same sick feeling of guilt she always felt whenever Emma talked about her childhood. 'Emma I'm so sorry.' She whispered. 'That must have been awful.'

'Why are you sorry? It's not your fault.'

'Emma.' Regina pulled her to a stop and then dropped her hand.

Emma turned back to look at her. 'What? Oh, yeah okay I guess from your perspective you could say it was your fault but it really wasn't. You weren't the one who stole my food or punished me for some tiny transgression with reduced meals. It wasn't you're fault.'

'Emma you can say that until you're blue in the face but you won't ever make me believe it.' Regina said quietly. 'I have so much to make up for.'

Emma sighed. She always felt frustrated with Regina when she brought up her history as the Evil Queen. It was all in the past and that's where it should stay. 'Good if you're keen to make up for things maybe you could start with following me to get ice cream!' She said firmly, then grabbed Regina by the hand again and pulled her along squeezing her hand assuredly.

'The resemblance between you and Henry is far too strong for my liking.' Regina said. 'You're both too driven by your stomachs!'

'But you love us anyway right?' Emma asked.

'That I do.' Regina replied, running her thumb along the back of Emma's hand.

Emma smiled at that, unable to stop herself. 'We love you too.' She said quietly.

They eventually arrived at the ice cream shop which smelled as heavenly as when they had passed it the first time. It was the kind of old fashioned store that made the ice cream and waffle cones right there in front of the customers. They watched for a few moments while waffle cones were being made and then Emma ordered a double scoop of Triple Chocolate and managed to convince Regina to get a single scoop of French Vanilla.

They walked back to their inn slowly as they ate their ice cream. By the time they were back they had finished them, and they let themselves in with the front door key Dan had given them waving to him as they passed the front desk and headed to the grand staircase.

Regina turned to Emma as they reached the top. 'I like this place Emma, thank you for bringing me here.'

Emma looked at her, Regina's eyes were bright and alive in a way Emma hadn't seen them for some time. She was as perfectly put together as always except for a tiny smear of ice cream on her upper lip. Emma put her hand up to wipe the smear away and as she did Regina leaned slightly closer as if to kiss her, then pulled back as if she thought better of it.

'You just had some ice cream that's all.' Emma said as she dropped her hand to her side, her heart racing all of a sudden.

Regina just stood there quietly looking at her with a small smile playing on the edge of her lips. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome Regina.' She said softly, then before she changed her mind and did something stupid she turned away towards the door of her room. 'Can we go to the beach tomorrow?' She asked casually over her shoulder trying to break the tension.

'Sure, whatever you like Miss Swan.' Regina replied, moving towards her own door. 'Goodnight Emma.'

'Good night Regina' Emma said, then stepped inside her room and closed the door leaning heavily against it. She let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

What the hell was happening between them?

 **A/N – I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! Please please review and tell me what you think!**


	7. High Enough To Fly

**A/N – So sorry this has taken so long. I've been very ill over this last month and so this has had to wait unfortunately. However I'm completely better now so here it is! I hope you all enjoy it!**

Emma couldn't even remember the last time she walked on a beach… Not a real one anyway. Not like this.

It felt amazing to walk in the sun and the sand, half in the water half out, just letting the warm summer breeze whip the hair back from her face to dance behind her.

She felt free in a way that she hadn't ever before and soon she began to run, to dance even along the shore, skipping and laughing and splashing as she went.

She paid no attention to the other people on the beach, and though some did regard her with amusement most were content to ignore her, too focused on themselves and the enjoyment the late summer day was bringing them.

In truth it was actually early fall, but the weather was still perfect and the leaves hadn't yet started to turn. As far as Emma was concerned it was still summer, and she planned to enjoy every single second of her freedom while it lasted.

Breathless she finally stopped running and flopped down to the sand, letting the small waves wash over her lower half. The water was beautifully warm (unlike the water in Storybrooke) and it washed over her like a blanket, its frothy white edges swirling gently over her legs.

She felt happy for the first time since Killian died, and while she knew that getting away from home for a short while had been exactly what she'd needed she also knew that it would have been pointless without Regina there too.

Whatever was growing between them Emma knew was real, it was unique and it was fragile. She had her own issues with trust and abandonment but her issues paled in comparison with Regina's. Regina needed love, she needed trust and she needed hope. And while none of those things were Emma's forte she was going to do her very best to give them all to her because she deserved nothing less. No matter how hard Regina made it for her.

Emma peered down the beach to where Regina was sitting on the sand in her black one piece bathing suit and wide brimmed hat. Emma waved to her but she wasn't even sure Regina was looking her way. A few moments' later however Regina waved back, and Emma felt that same wonderful warm curling feeling spread though her stomach. She happily turned back to gaze out onto the ocean and laughed as she dug her legs deep into the sand. Yes she was definitely happy today.

…

Regina rolled her eyes as she waved back to Emma who had travelled ridiculously far down the beach. She didn't like to admit it but she had done nothing but watch Emma all morning as the blonde skipped and danced and played in the waves as if she was a child.

She had never seen her so alive, she had also never seen her more beautiful.

Regina had always thought Emma was the most stunning woman she had ever seen, right from when she first arrived in town bringing Henry back to her with an apologetic sheepish look on her face that soon turned to insolence and derision. In fact Regina had been more surprised and put off by Emma's beauty than by the fact that she was apparently Henry's birth mother.

At that time she felt nothing but anger at the beauty of another woman, she hated not being the most beautiful in the room as she had been almost all her life. Now was another story though, Emma's beauty actually made Regina feel more beautiful herself, perhaps it was because she was more secure in herself now or perhaps it was just the way Emma looked at her when she thought Regina wasn't paying attention; like she was the most perfect thing in the world. Like she was a queen.

Regina smiled as Emma began making a childish sandcastle around herself, heedless of the waves that kept running in to destroy her work. She was covered in sand from head to toe and her perfect white bikini now looked brown, which made her look like she was naked.

Regina cocked her head slightly, reflecting for a moment upon that image and then shook herself as a tingly warmth spread though her body. She would not think of Emma that way. Lord knows they had been through enough without projecting misguided attraction onto one another.

Emma wasn't making it easy for her though, especially in that bikini.

They had woken up bright and early that morning and decided to head to the beach after they went to a mall to buy bathing suits. Neither of them had one unsurprisingly, as one didn't usually think of a bathing suit and Storybrooke simultaneously. Besides as Emma had pointed out no one saved the world in a bathing suit so they had little need for them back home.

Regina had instantly gone for plain, black and stylish. Emma had been fussier and eventually settled on the smallest white bikini she could lay her hands on. Regina thought she'd have started a scandal if she'd worn it at home and she'd told Emma so in no uncertain terms.

'That suit is a travesty. It's smaller than your underwear.'

'It's perfect actually.' Emma said. 'It was the only one I liked, and you haven't seen my underwear.' she said unfazed by Regina's derision. 'At least it's not red.' She added as an afterthought like that made it better.

'At least red wouldn't be see through.' Regina snapped.

Emma sighed. 'It's lined Regina.' She said impatiently. 'No one's going to see through anything. And besides look at your suit, you're really sticking to your signature color aren't you?'

'You're just jealous I saw it first.' Regina smirked.

'Maybe a little. I like this one better though. It suits me.'

'A little too much if you ask me.' Regina huffed.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'I chose black, you chose white. You're the Savior and I'm the Evil Queen. We've chosen completely stereotypical colors.'

Emma laughed. 'Well that rule isn't always true. I can think of a least a couple of instances where the good guy has worn black and the bad guy has worn white. Also you're not the Evil Queen anymore.'

'Oh really? Name them.' Regina asked, then under her breath added. 'I'll always be the Evil Queen.'

Emma ignored her, frowning in concentration 'Ladyhawke.' She said triumphantly. 'The hero wore black and rode a black horse and the villain wore white. Oh and The Princess Bride. Wesley wore black and Prince Humperdinck wore white, and rode a white horse.'

Regina laughed. 'Yes well you forgot that in both of those cases the villains were portrayed as stereotypical heroes. In Ladyhawke the villain was a bishop so of course he wore white and in the Princess Bride Prince Humperdinck was, well a prince which traditionally is always a hero and therefore is always dressed in white. Also Wesley was a pirate, traditionally a villain role'

'Did my father ride a white horse?' Emma asked, her head cocked to one side in though.

Regina laughed again. 'Yes actually he did!'

'Interesting. I can't picture it.'

'It was very typical.' Regina said.

'How did we even get started on this conversation?' Emma asked.

'Because you Savior are buying a white bikini and I the Evil Queen am buying a black one piece.'

'Oh that's right.' Emma laughed. 'Well whatever, no one knows who we are here anyway. We can wear whatever we want free from stereotypes. I always liked Wesley anyway. You kind of remind me of him.'

Regina rolled her eyes. 'In what way exactly?'

'He was part villain and part hero. He had sass, he fought for what was right but didn't care about breaking the rules. He believed in true love, he had a brilliant mind and he was sexy as hell.' Emma said. 'He's you all over.'

Regina didn't know how to respond to that. Personally she thought Emma just had a thing for pirates. Thankfully she didn't have to respond as they had finally reached the cashier and needed to pay for their suits.

As they were heading back towards the car Emma stopped suddenly. 'Oh my god he's not real is he?'

'Who?'

'Wesley! Tell me the Princess Bride isn't real.' Emma looked at her with a pleading expression.

Regina laughed. 'No The Princess Bride isn't real.' She paused for a moment. 'And neither is Ladyhawke.'

'Thank god.' Emma said in relief. 'I can never be too sure these days.'

That had been the end of the conversation.

Regina smiled as she remembered it as she watched Emma getting less white and browner by the minute. She eventually decide to lie down and sunbake and try not to think of Emma in her white bikini and all the wonderful and confusing things she said to her.

She supposed she fell asleep because the next thing she knew she was cold and drops of water were showering her. She opened her eyes to find a very wet sand free Emma kneeling over her.

'Really Emma?' She huffed, pushing her away slightly. 'Must you drip all over me?'

'The water's lovely. You should get in.' Emma said lying back on her towel and surveying the waves. 'It's beautiful here.'

'So you keep saying.' Regina said with a smile.

'You should take my advice then.' Emma said, her eyes closed.

'Perhaps I will.' Regina mused.

And she did. Despite the initial trepidation that came with swimming in the ocean for the first time, Regina managed to enjoy herself immensely and before long Emma joined her in the waves.

'This look suits you.' Emma said with a smile.

'What look? Bedraggled and waterlogged?' Regina scoffed, shooting Emma an exasperated look.

Emma just looked back at her seriously and shook her head. 'No.' she said shaking her head solemnly. 'Happy.' She looked away out onto the horizon. 'Happy and beautiful.'

'You think I'm beautiful?'

'Come on Regina you know you're beautiful.' Emma said.

'Like this?' Regina insisted curiously. 'You think I'm beautiful like this?'

Emma sighed and turned to face her. 'Yes. I do.' She said softly. 'In fact I don't think I've ever seen you this beautiful.'

Regina stepped closer to Emma pushing the waves aside gently. She was so close she could see the exact shade of Emma's eyes and noticed how they matched the ocean, she could count every freckle dusted across her nose, every drop of water gathered in her eyelashes.

She had no idea what she was doing and in that moment she didn't care.

That is until a giant wave washed over them both, sending them tumbling over and over.

Eventually they surfaced, Regina coughing and spluttering in a most undignified way. Emma however seemed to be just fine and emerged from the water as gracefully as her last name suggested.

'Ugh.' Regina groaned. 'I was just starting to think that I liked the ocean and then it goes and ruins everything.'

Emma couldn't help but laugh. 'That's why you're not supposed to turn your back on it.'

'I didn't turn my back on it, it turned my side to it.'

'Either way it got you big time.' Emma smirked.

'Well now I'm getting out. I feel sick.' Regina said with a frown.

'Swallowing too much salt water can do that to you.' Emma said with a look of concern. 'You okay, or do I have to wonder about secondary drowning?'

'I'll be fine.' Regina said, irritated at herself as well as the ocean for ruining what could have been a perfect moment. Or would it have been a disaster? The last thing she wanted was to scare Emma away.

She stumbled slightly as she headed towards the shore and felt Emma's strong arms catch her around the waist.

'Hey?' Emma said, cupping Regina's cheek in her hand and pushing her wet hair back from her face. 'Are you sure you're okay? You just went from happy to miserable in two seconds.'

Regina smiled softly at her. 'I'm fine I promise. And I'm still happy, I just think I'll be happier on land. I don't know how that insufferable mermaid does it.'

'It probably has something to do with being born into it.' Emma laughed, letting go of Regina as the two of them made their way back to their towels.

…

Dinner that night was at a fancy restaurant on the main street. After they'd left the beach they'd wandered around downtown for an hour or so and had stumbled upon a restaurant that met Regina's high standards. She had stated clearly that she wanted to eat somewhere refined, and she had immediately booked them a table at 8pm that evening and ordered Emma to dress nicely.

For once in her life Emma was ready before Regina and sat waiting impatiently for her in the sitting room. She was wearing a black dress (after their conversation about their bathing suits she refused to wear white) that was simple in cut but still managed to hug her figure in all the right places. She had taken the time to curl her hair so it flowed nicely down her back and over her shoulders. She hadn't bothered to do her hair properly since her early days in Storybrooke however something prompted her to do it that night. She wanted to impress Regina, although she was succeeding nicely in pretending to herself that wasn't the case.

When Regina finally emerged from her room, locking the door behind her, Emma stood up and was about to make a snarky comment about punctuality when she froze.

Regina looked stunning.

More than that she looked radiant, happy, beautiful, perfect.

All coherent thought left Emma's brain as she frowned and desperately tried to remember how to use her voice.

Regina was wearing a tight red dress with thin straps. The hem came to just above her knees and unlike Emma's dress clung to her everywhere. It left nothing to the imagination and clearly demonstrated what a perfect body Regina had. Her short hair was smooth and sleek and her makeup flawless as usual.

Emma knew she was staring and that it was now getting to the point where she had to say something but yet still she couldn't seem to do anything more than just look Regina up and down like she was an amazing piece of artwork.

She didn't even notice that Regina was looking at her in exactly the same way but with a little more finesse.

'Emma?' Regina asked uncertainly. 'Hello?'

Emma finally snapped out of it and shook her head. 'You look absolutely amazing.' She said since there was no way to pretend she hadn't been staring.

A small flush rose to Regina's cheeks. 'Thank you. You look lovely too.'

'Thank you.' Emma managed. 'Shall we go?'

Regina nodded, and they headed down the stairs.

When they got to the bottom they was an appreciative low whistle from the front desk.

'You ladies look absolutely divine.' Ray said. Ray was the owner of the inn, they had met him at breakfast that morning. He was a gentleman in his early sixties and he and his wife Mara had bought the inn in their retirement. He was a kind man who obviously cared a great deal about getting to know his guests and giving them the best experience possible.

Emma gave him a big smile and did a twirl in front of him. 'What do you think? Much better than the bedraggled look from this afternoon isn't it?'

Ray nodded. 'You clean up good kid. Both of you.' He nodded at Regina. 'Those boys had better watch out. They won't know what hit them.'

Emma laughed. 'I think they're safe from us tonight thankfully. Neither of us are exactly looking for any action.'

'Damn shame for them.' Ray said with a laugh. 'You going to Cirque?'

Regina nodded. 'The menu looked amazing.'

'It is amazing, you'll love it.' Ray said. 'Have a great evening.'

'Thank you we will.' Regina said holding the front door open for Emma.

As they walked down to the restaurant Regina looked sideways at her. 'I didn't even think you owned a dress.' She stated.

'Hey now. I may not be as refined as you but I do own some nice clothes.' Emma said with a hurt look. 'They just aren't practical when fighting evil.'

'Of course not.' Regina agreed. 'You do look beautiful though, you should wear dresses more often.'

'I'll remember that.' Emma said, suddenly feeling a flush in her cheeks.

The restaurant really was amazing with impeccable service and delicious food. Emma and Regina shared a bottle of wine and finished it so quickly that they ordered another.

Emma found it so easy to talk to Regina, their conversation casually flowed from topic to topic, mostly discussing Henry and her parents and the trouble they might get up to while they were gone. They also discussed what else they might do while they were away and whether perhaps they should take a drive down the coastline and visit some other small towns while they were there.

By the time they'd left the restaurant it was getting late and they still had a half a bottle of wine left to drink. They headed back to the inn, taking the half full bottle with them.

'If we're going to finish this bottle tonight we're going to need wine glasses.' Regina stated as they arrived.

Emma let them in the front door and looked around. At this time of night the inn was quiet and the only light came from the grand stair case and common areas. The kitchen and dining room were dark. 'What you're not comfortable with drinking straight from the bottle?' Emma asked with a laugh.

'I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer.' Regina scowled, and headed towards the kitchen.

'Regina I don't think we're supposed to just walk into the kitchen.' Emma said raising her eyebrows as Regina opened the door and strolled through.

Emma followed. The kitchen sat just off from the dining room and Regina was already inside, using her cell phone as a light.

Emma hovered at the doorway. 'Did you find anything?' She asked.

'Yes.' Regina appeared at her side, holding up two wine glasses. 'Let's go.'

They headed up the stairs to the third floor and settled themselves on the couch of the sitting room.

Regina opened the wine and poured them each a glass. 'I can't believe I was the one to pilfer these glasses.' She said. 'Isn't stealing things supposed to be your specialty?'

'Ouch.' Emma said. 'That hurts, I haven't stolen a thing since I was seventeen.'

'Sorry.' Regina said, sounding anything but. She then settled back into the couch next to Emma and took a sip of her wine. 'You were too good for him.' She added after a moment.

'Too good for who?' Emma asked.

'Who do you think? The watch stealing miscreant.'

'Neil?' Emma asked in surprise.

'Emma he left you alone, pregnant, to rot in jail. Surely not even you can forgive that.' Regina snapped.

'You'd be surprised what I can forgive.' Emma said softly, and just like that Regina knew they were no longer talking about Neil.

'Emma…'

'Forget about it Regina.' Emma said. 'It's time to let it go.'

'I'll never let it go.'

'You need to try. I wouldn't change my life now whatsoever. If things were different we might not have Henry, we might not be sitting here with each other right now.' Emma said.

Regina sighed. 'As harsh as this sounds, it's not just about you. What about your parents? I'm sure Snow wouldn't say the same thing you just did. I'm sure she'd give this life up in a heartbeat if it meant she'd got to raise you herself.'

'Don't be so sure.' Emma said quickly. 'You should ask her sometime.'

'She wouldn't tell me the truth.'

'Has she ever lied to you before?' Emma asked.

Regina didn't know what to say to that.

'And what about you?' Emma asked. 'Have you thought that if you had acted differently back then you might not be the person you are today? You might be completely different, you might still be nothing more than the Evil Queen.'

'I'll never be anything more than the Evil Queen.' Regina muttered.

'So you've said. We have to work on your self-confidence.' Emma said lightly, taking a small sip of her wine.

'Emma I have plenty of self-confidence believe me. What I also have now is self-awareness, which is something I sorely lacked until you showed up.' Regina said.

'What do you mean?'

Regina turned fully to face her. 'Emma you're the one who put me on this path. You're the one who showed me my life could be different if I only tried. You showed me that right from the start.'

'The way I remember it I did nothing but annoy you right from the start. And you didn't seem to change at all until after the curse was broken.' Emma said.

'That's true. But it was something you said very early to me that started the process, I just chose to deny it for as long as I could before I chose to stop being the victim.'

'What did I say?'

'You looked me in the eye and you told me I had no soul. Then you said "how the hell did you get like this?"' Regina said sadly. 'I remember it like it was yesterday.'

'I shouldn't have said that.' Emma said softly. 'That's a horrible thing to say to someone.'

'You don't remember it do you?'

'No I don't. So I'm not sure why I said it. I know I wasn't exactly the best person either in those days, and I'm sorry for the pain I caused you.' Emma said.

Regina scoffed. 'Please Emma don't be sorry. You know everything that happened was for the best. Do you know I don't even remember what I'd done to you to make you say that? I just remember how it felt to hear it.'

'How did you feel?'

'It wasn't the comment about having no soul that bothered me, I already knew I'd stop at nothing to get what I wanted. No it was the question of how did I get like that that made me pause. I actually stopped for a second and asked myself that question. After that the answer just got harder and harder to ignore until I was finally faced with a choice.' Regina said.

'Which was?'

Regina shrugged. 'Keep fighting you and your family for reasons I barely understood anymore and lose Henry forever or stop fighting you and start working with you.'

'So basically if you can't beat them join them?' Emma asked with a smile.

That made Regina laugh. 'I suppose so yes.'

'Well I'm very glad you did. And I'm glad I was the one to put you on that path, even if it was from saying something so hurtful.' Emma said, finishing her glass and pouring another one.

'I'm glad you did too.' Regina said softly, holding her glass out for a refill. The bottle was now empty.

There were a few moments of silence as they just looked at one another.

Then Regina reached out her hand and twirled a curl of Emma's hair around her finger. 'You are so lovely.' She said softly.

Emma caught her breath, unable to speak. She just looked at Regina, looked at her hand as it played with her hair and then into her eyes.

'You never wear your hair in curls anymore.' Regina continued, 'You used to wear it like this all the time. I suppose it became too much effort although I never really understood why you went to the trouble to begin with.'

Emma managed to find her voice. 'I went to the trouble because I was trying to impress you.'

Regina smiled. 'Really?' She asked quietly, her eyes flitting to Emma's uncertainly.

Emma nodded. 'Yeah.'

Regina's hand made its way up the strands of golden curls to rest on Emma's cheek, where it stayed tangled slightly in a curl and stroking her cheek gently. 'I was trying to impress you too.' She admitted softly.

Emma's heart was thudding in her chest. Her hand lay next to Regina's thigh, where her dress had ridden up to expose a smooth expanse of skin which Emma desperately wanted to touch. Yet she remained still. 'You succeeded.' she said.

'As did you.' Regina replied, her long fingers now free of Emma curls but still running softly up and down her cheek.

The touch hit Emma at her core. 'Regina?' She asked tentatively looking into her eyes.

Regina stopped stroking Emma's face and instead cupped it in both hands. 'Emma stop thinking okay? You think too much.'

And then she pulled her close and kissed her.

Emma had never been kissed like that before and she responded immediately, wrapping both her arms around Regina's neck and pressing their bodies close together. Regina's lips were soft but unyielding against hers as she ran her tongue over Emma's unrelentingly until they were both breathless.

One of Emma's hands soon moved to Regina's thigh and she ran her hand up that perfect smooth skin which pushed the fabric of her dress even higher. Regina's hands moved down through Emma's hair and reached the straps of her dress, sliding them off one by one as her mouth followed her hands and she left a trail of kisses from Emma's neck to her shoulders and then to the tops of her breasts.

Emma dragged Regina's mouth back to hers, this time her hands cupping Regina's face.

Regina responded by running her hands down Emma's back to her ass and she pulled Emma onto her lap to straddle her, as she squeezed her ass gently.

Emma ran her hands through Regina's hair and moaned into lips, before groaning in disappointment when she pulled away slightly.

'I think we should go to my room.' Regina said in a low voice, looking up at Emma with undisguised desire in her eyes.

Emma could only nod in agreement, as she climbed off Regina's lap and took her hand. 'Let's go.'

 **A/N – Well I hope that you all enjoyed that! It's my favorite chapter so far!**

 **Hopefully there won't be so long a wait before the next one. Please please review and tell me how you liked it (or if you didn't). Reviews motivate me and the more I get the faster I write!**

 **Also the next chapter will pick up right where we left off and the rating will then most definitely be raised!**


	8. High Enough To Fly (Part Two)

**A/N: So this chapter is mostly smut. At least the first half is so if that offends you I suggest you skip it. For the rest of you, well I hope you enjoy it!**

Chapter 8 - High enough to fly (part two)

Once they reached Regina's room Emma couldn't help but hesitate slightly. Regina had said not to think but she couldn't help consider what she was about to do. I mean this was Regina for fucks sake! The other mother of her child! The Evil Queen! She was about to have sex with the Evil Queen.

Oddly enough this last thought was nothing but a turn on and Emma quickly chose to stop thinking and just follow Regina's lead. She'd worry about the implications of this later, besides it was just one night.

Regina stood by the bed just watching her as these thought flew through her head. 'Come here.' She said softly but firmly, and Emma went to her.

'Are you sure about this?' Emma asked.

'No more than you are.' Regina confirmed. 'But right now I don't care, I don't care about anything except finally acting on what I feel for you.'

Emma closed the last small distance between them and kissed Regina softly.

Regina melted into the kiss and for some time that was all they could do, simply kiss and kiss until their hearts were racing and they couldn't breath until finally the kissing just wasn't enough anymore and Emma reach behind and unzipped Regina's dress, watching with wide eyes as it fell to the floor pooling around her ankles.

Emma bit her lip. She had never seen anything sexier than Regina in her black lacy bra and panties and black high heels. Any remaining concerns Emma may have had fled her mind in an instant and she let out a small gasp at the sight. 'You are so fucking beautiful.' she whispered.

'Language Miss Swan!' Regina admonished with a genuine smile on her face as if no one had ever complimented her like that before (in truth they hadn't). She stood there shyly under Emma's appreciative gaze until Emma could take no more and reached out to stroke Regina's hair, then her face before she tentatively ran her hand down her neck to her shoulder, pushing one bra strap down.

Regina moaned slightly and tilted her neck which Emma took as an open invitation and leant down to kiss it, pushing the strap down further with one hand while cupping Regina's breast through the lacy fabric of her bra with the other. She ran her thumb lightly over Regina's nipple and felt herself moan in response to the sounds Regina was making.

'Emma?' Regina sighed, and Emma began to kiss her way down Regina's neck to her breast, taking the other nipple into her mouth through the lace.

'Yes?' Emma asked, as she pulled down Regina's bra and took her nipple completely into her mouth and sucked it gently.

'Ahhh, you are wearing too many clothes.' Regina moaned, pulling Emma's mouth up to hers as she felt wetness pool between her thighs soaking her panties.

She pulled Emma's dress up to her waist, and ran her hands once again over her ass, pulling her even closer before ripping the dress up and over Emma's head the discarding it messily into a corner.

Emma stepped out of her heels and pulled Regina to the bed quickly before she could lose her nerve. Regina followed her willingly, throwing back the covers and pushing Emma down as she knelt above her and looked down at her. 'Do you have any idea of the effect you have on me?' She asked quietly.

'I'm sure I could guess.' Emma said with a smile, lifting one hand to Regina's stomach and letting it trail softly down to play with the hem of her panties.

'You're killing me.' Regina replied, and bent to kiss Emma's breasts gently, pushing her bra aside. 'We have to get rid of this' she declared and Emma quickly complied, sitting up slightly so Regina could undo the clasp and remove her bra.

Regina looked down at Emma in just her white panties (they were in stereotypical colors again she noticed with a smirk) drinking in the sight of her; breasts pale in the moonlight, eyes deep dark pools of desire as she stared up at her expectantly. Regina was sitting astride her now, still wearing her heels and she trailed a hand down Emma's face to her collar bone, stopping in the middle of her chest where she paused for a moment, just long enough for Emma to moan impatiently (and for a fresh wave of wetness to hit Regina's core) before she bent down and gently took a nipple into her mouth.

Emma responded by gripping Regina's hair and moaning loudly as she pushed her hips up into Regina pressing tightly against her.

Regina gasped around Emma's nipple as she cupped her other breast in her hand firmly, tweaking the nipple slightly, enough to illicit another moan.

Emma desperately wanted more of Regina and as sexy as she was in her black lacy underwear Emma wanted to see more and touch more and she wasn't afraid any longer, wasn't at all uncertain. She pushed Regina up slightly and cupped both her breasts in her hands, then ran her fingers over the nipples before reaching behind to undo her bra, letting her breasts fall free.

For a moment Emma just looked at her (much like Regina had at Emma earlier) then she moved her gaze from that beautiful body up into Regina's eyes and pushed her hair back slightly with one hand, brushing her thumb over Regina's lips. She sat up slightly to kiss her again, this time pulling Regina down on top of her and she snaked one hand between them bringing it between Regina's thighs to graze over her clit. Emma could feel just how wet Regina was for her, and as she slipped a finger underneath her underwear to slide between her folds Emma moaned and her own clit throbbed and fresh wetness welled between her legs.

Regina continued to kiss her passionately as Emma stroked her slowly over and over again, reveling in the feel of her soft folds, and the pulsing nub of her clitoris. When she tentatively pushed a finger inside her Regina gasped loudly.

'Fuck, Emma!'

Emma stilled her fingers for a moment and kissed her neck softly. 'Are you okay?' She murmured, fingers still inside her.

Regina sat up suddenly and leaned down, grasping Emma's underwear and slowly pulling them off, discarding them to the floor with the rest of their forgotten clothing. 'Of course I'm okay you fool.' She said and then wriggled down slightly bending to kiss Emma's flat stomach. 'Stay still.' She ordered.

For perhaps the first time in her life Emma obeyed without question, holding her breath slightly as Regina kissed her way down Emma's stomach while slowly stroking her inner thigh with one hand, each time letting her fingers slide a little higher teasing Emma slowly. 'Regina.' She snapped. 'Enough.'

Regina smiled into Emma's stomach and ignored her, continuing her slow kisses and slow strokes until her mouth and her fingers simultaneously arrived at the spot Emma was so desperate for. She firstly kissed Emma's clit lightly as her fingers took their first stroke through her wet folds, then she ran her tongue though them and sucked on Emma's clit gently as she slowly pushed two fingers inside of her.

Emma moaned again and bucked her hips up towards Regina, who responded by sucking more furiously and curling her fingers up inside her. Emma felt like velvet, soft and smooth and so deliciously wet Regina moaned from the sheer joy of it. She pulled her fingers out of her and replaced them with her tongue, moving it quickly in and out, tasting every inch of her.

Emma was growing more and more tense, and she reached down and wound her fingers into Regina's hair as she thrust her hips upward. 'Regina!' she cried. 'Regina!'

Regina moved her tongue back to suck furiously on Emma's clit and she moved her fingers inside her faster and faster until Emma grabbed a handful of Regina's hair her whole body going taut as she came with a small cry. For a few moments they were both still.

'Oh. My. God.' Emma said softly, her whole body limp as she fought to catch her breath. 'That was amazing.'

'Of course it was.' Regina smirked secretly extremely proud of herself. 'Did you expect anything less?' she raised her eyebrows.

A small frown appeared on Emma's face. 'To be honest no.' she admitted. 'Though I'm not sure where you learned to do that, surely you don't have much experience with this?'

'With sex?' Regina asked, eyebrows still raised.

'No you fool, with sex with another woman.' Emma laughed.

'Turns out you don't need experience. I just did what I wanted to, tasted what I wanted to taste, touched what I wanted to touch. That seemed to work just fine. You're thinking again aren't you?' she asked with a frown still sitting astride Emma, her core rubbing slightly against Emma's pubic bone.

'Yes actually.' Emma confessed, reaching up to fondle Regina's breast. 'I'm thinking about what I want to do to you.'

Regina sat back slightly arching her body up and opening her arms wide. 'Be my guest.' She said with a smirk.

Emma didn't need to be told twice. She sat up quickly and pushed Regina off her so she was lying on her back, their positions now reversed with Emma straddling her instead.

For a moment she didn't know where to start and her uncertainness clearly showed on her face because Regina's early playfulness vanished and she placed her hands on Emma's thighs stroking them gently.

'Emma you don't have to do anything you're not ready for.' Regina said softly.

Emma looked into Regina's dark eyes. For several moments they simply looked at each other, no words were spoken until Emma finally dragged her eyes away and down to Regina's breasts. 'I want to do this.' She said firmly, convincing Regina as much as herself.

She bent to take one nipple into her mouth, circling her tongue over and around it gently, slowly until her uncertainness subsided and Regina's soft moans sounded in her ears. Emma's heart soared at that sound and her confidence grew. She left Regina's breast and kissed her way down to the elastic of her black lacy panties, letting her hands run down her sides and over and up her thighs. She nudged Regina's clit through her panties with her nose as she slipped a finger underneath the fabric and slid between Regina's soft folds. She was so wet, her panties were simply saturated and the feel of that silky wet arousal was nothing Emma had ever experienced before, she loved it. She removed her finger and sat back pulling off Regina's panties slowly.

She took a few moments to just gaze at the beautiful sexy woman below her and to marvel at how lucky she was to be here in this moment with someone so perfect.

Sensing Regina's impatience, she then bent to kiss her ankle, then her calf, then the top of her knee, trailing her way up her thighs, nudging Regina's legs to open wider so she could finally settle between them and kiss her tenderly where she most wanted to.

Regina responded by pushing up into her and Emma darted her tongue out to slide slowly over her clit again and again, as she inserted first one then two fingers inside her, moving them gently pushing them in then out then in over and over again.

Regina growled then suddenly she flipped them back to their original position with her sitting on top of Emma legs astride. 'This way.' she said quickly and pushed Emma's hand between her legs.

Emma sat up and gripped Regina tightly around her waist with one arm, while she gently inserted two fingers, and then a third into her with the other, curling them upward.

'Yes, just like that!' Regina cried as she started to move her hips on top of Emma, grinding herself down hard onto Emma's hand, over and over as Emma leaned forward towards those marvelous breasts and took a nipple into her mouth sucking on it hard. Regina moved faster and faster on top of her and Emma curled her fingers and rubbed Regina harder and harder until she cried aloud and finally came furiously.

They both collapsed back onto the bed, their sweat drenched limbs tangled on top of each other. Then eventually they relaxed more and Regina's head found its way to Emma's breast, her hand on her stomach and for a short time they slept, until Emma woke to find Regina kissing her nipples and then the whole process started again, only slower, each of them taking the time to fully explore the others body and beginning to understand this new form of lovemaking.

Eventually just before dawn they fell asleep together, each having moved to their own side of the bed exhausted, but still with their feet entwined together.

…

The next morning Emma woke with a warm feeling inside her, sometime in her sleep she had shifted closer to Regina so that their bodies were molded perfectly together, her arm slung over Regina's waist. The sheet covering them only came to their waists and Emma couldn't resist lifting her hand to gently stoke Regina's bare side, following the curves of her body from her shoulder to her hip, to the curve of her ass.

'Emma what are you doing?' Regina mumbled, slowly stirring awake.

'I'm trying to decide which part of you I like the most.' Emma said slowly. 'I think it's your side.'

'My side?' Regina frowned and rolled to face Emma. 'What's so amazing about my side exactly?'

'It's the way your body curves. I love it.' Emma replied.

Regina didn't know exactly what to make of that so instead she leant in to kiss Emma lightly. 'We should get up.' she said softly.

Emma groaned and buried her head in between Regina's breasts. 'Can't we just stay here forever?'

'Sure if you want to be discovered by housekeeping.' Regina said, absently stroking Emma's hair.

'Fine. What time is it anyway?'

Regina leaned over and retrieved her phone from the bedside table, intending to check the time. Instead she found a text from Henry.

 _Hey Mom, you having fun? We miss you both. The town has so far survived without you but don't stay away forever okay? X_

Regina frowned as a slight feeling of unease settled in her stomach; they hadn't even considered Henry in the actions of the previous evening.

She quickly replied.

 _Turns out I can suffer your mother's company better than I thought. We miss you too x_

To Emma she simply said 'It's 11am. We missed breakfast by two hours.'

Emma shrugged. 'Ah well, we can eat out. Who was the text from?'

Regina felt a small sliver of irritation; she was tempted to snap _none of your business_ but pushed the urge away. 'It was Henry.'

Emma could hear the change in Regina's tone of voice and chose not to press further. Instead she gracefully got out of bed and went searching for her dress that had somehow ended up in a corner of the room. She pulled it on quickly, not bothering to put on her bra and panties as she was only crossing the hall.

Regina sat up in bed and looked at her. 'Emma?'

'Yeah?' Emma turned to look back at her. She was so achingly beautiful in such a simplistic way, her dark hair spilling over her shoulders, breasts round and perfect, miles of soft tan smooth skin. For a moment she was simply too dazzled to do much more than stare at her.

'I'm sorry.' Regina said.

'What for?' Emma asked.

'I don't know.' Regina confessed. 'This is new territory for me, for us. I'm not quite sure what happens now.'

Emma moved back towards the bed and sat on the edge of it reaching out to cup Regina's face. 'I don't regret it.' She said firmly. 'I never will.'

'Nor will I.' Regina said softly.

'Lets not worry about what happen next ok? Let's just enjoy this time and for once do whatever we want to. We've earned that.'

'Okay.'

'I'm going to head back to my room to shower and get dressed, and then I'll come right back. What do you want to do today?' Emma asked lightly, pushing down the uneasy feeling in her stomach.

Regina frowned. 'Let's finish exploring downtown. There are still several inane pointless shops that we've yet to venture into. Then perhaps we could take a cruise along the river?'

'Sounds great.' Emma leant forward and kissed Regina gently on the lips. Then she bent to pick up her panties and bra, stuffed them quickly into her purse, before collecting her heels and heading back to her room.

She closed the door behind her and dropped her things leaning back against it and taking a deep breath. She meant what she'd said, she didn't regret what had happened between them and never would but she also realized that they had now opened a door they couldn't close again.

Their relationship had now forever changed and it couldn't change back. She wanted more. Or did she? And what about Henry? What would he want? Would the idea of his mothers being together please him or revolt him? Not to mention her own parents reaction. What would Snow say about her daughter being with her greatest enemy? Not that they'd been enemies for sometime now but still…

It was at this point that Emma decided to follow Regina's advice from the night before and stop thinking. Right now she was happy, deliriously so. She hadn't experienced a night like the one previous in her entire life and while they were here in this quiet town with no magic surrounding them at all, with no supernatural menaces to defeat she was determined to forget everything and everyone except the two of them and for once just concentrate on being happy.

She headed into the bathroom removing her dress and stepped into the shower. As she turned on the spray she nodded firmly to herself, before carefully closing all the issues and concerns she was feeling into a nice tight compartment and locking the lid closed.

These worries were for another day.

The rest of the day was wonderful. While they hadn't mentioned what had transpired between them it was present in every thing they did, every look they gave, every movement they made.

They began by finishing their exploration of downtown. Emma had gone into every inane souvenir shop (Regina's words) and had spent a full thirty minutes smelling all the candles in one particular store until she had finally selected a few to buy. Regina had endured it with a small smirk on her face and several snide comments. Emma didn't care, she loved candles and despite very rarely actually burning them she liked to collect them from different places she visited.

They had then headed down to the Riverwalk and after slowly wandering it's length they found a small business that ran cruises every hour up and down the river. The cruise they booked explored a large length of the Cape Fear River, travelling both up and downstream.

Regina and Emma stood outside together very close, almost touching but not quite (except for the occasional brush of a hand or bump of thigh against thigh). Regina despite trying not to spent more of her time looking at Emma than at the scenery. The humidity in the air caused the natural curl in Emma's hair to thrive and the wind bounced it back from her face and over and across her shoulders. Her eyes were dancing with excitement and her cheeks were reddened from the wind and exhilaration.

Regina had never felt so happy. However as soon as that thought left her she realized how fleeting this was, because surely things couldn't stay this way once they left here? Surely this magic free happiness was meant for here and now only.

She knew she couldn't have Emma once they went home.

She banished the thought from her mind and instead concentrated on being where she was in that moment and that moment only. She continued this philosophy right through the evening as they ate dinner at a pizza place on the main street.

When they returned home, they both paused as they reached their third floor.

'Uh I guess good night?' Emma asked uncertainly.

Regina just smiled at her then leant in to give her a lingering kiss. 'Good night Emma' she said softly, her eyes full of desire. She then turned and headed into her room, closing the door behind her.

Emma frowned at her retreating form and headed into her own room, frowning further as she sat on her bed and tried not to think about how much she wanted to spend the night curled up with Regina. She also felt somewhat confused because it seemed as though Regina has wanted that too.

Her phone buzzed. Emma reached for it hoping it would be Henry.

It was actually Regina.

 _I'm just enjoying a nice hot soak in my Jacuzzi. Care to join me?_

Emma's stomach flipped over, and she quickly replied. _What a delightful invitation. I'll be right there._

Her phone buzzed again.

 _Bring your toothbrush, and dress for the occasion. x_

Emma smirked, so she would be sleeping in Regina's arms after all. Not that she needed her toothbrush, as her room was literally no more that ten feet away. Still she supposed she should follow instructions.

As to dressing appropriately Emma assumed less was more and choose to remove all her clothes and wrap herself in one of the inn's complimentary bathrobes.

She quickly exited her room and headed to Regina's.

She tapped lightly on the door feeling somewhat foolish.

'Come in dear.' Regina sang out. 'And lock the door behind you.'

Emma did just that. The room was in darkness except for a soft light coming from the bathroom. Emma headed on in where Regina was waiting for her. She was already in the Jacuzzi and had lit some candles.

'My candles!' Emma exclaimed as she recognized them. Then she remembered Regina being the one to carry them back to the inn after dinner. 'Huh.'

'You leave things with me they become my property.' Regina said promptly looking up at her from the Jacuzzi.

'Its perfect.' Emma said.

'Are you going to take that off?' Regina asked, gesturing towards her robe.

'Maybe. Is there room for me in there?' Emma asked.

'There's always room for you Emma.' Regina said with a smile.

 **A/N: I hope you liked the chapter! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and I hope everyone stays safe and loved. Hugs to you all and here's to counting down till March. Hiatus sucks!**

 **As usual please review and tell me what you think!**

 **Aofie**


End file.
